Following my heart to Cameroon

In the fall of 2003 my friend Andrea and I were discussing a tour in southeast Asia with Intrepid Travel. We were considering a cycling trip in Vietnam or a climbing and wildlife tour in Sabah, Borneo. Our friend Shurla also wanted to come and really wanted to do the cycling trip, so Vietnam it was. We all put up our deposits and began preparing for 15 days on the road. Eventually Shurla decided that she couldn’t come and it was too late to switch our deposits to another trip. There were many hills in Vietnam where Shurla’s name became a kind of (affectionate? O:-) ) curse.

The food in Vietnam was awesome and so cheap. My most memorable meal was at a great restaurant in Hoi An. We had a cooking lesson that cost about USD$10, which included an awesome meal when our class was done. The lesson included a discussion of the importance of balance in Vietnamese cooking: variety in flavour and texture.

Our cycling trip took us the whole length of the country from Hanoi to Saigon. We saw Hue (the walled city), Nha Trang (on the South China Sea) and Dalat on Asian New Year, with a few other stops along the way. We rode about 3-4 hours per day and could get in the support van whenever we wanted.

Hoi An was my favourite place because of the food and the super fast, super cheap tailoring. I had so many clothes made, as well as a duvet set and a pair of boots. I did hear there’s a great beach, but Andrea and I were too busy shopping to make it there. We spent part of an afternoon entertaining the children at an orphanage in the city, so that the staff could get them all fed and bathed.

On the final night of our tour, the six of us were drinking Tiger beer on a patio in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) and we met a professional soccer player with a charming French accent. His name is William and he is from Cameroon in West Africa. William and I had a few hours to get to know each other before I left for Toronto and he went back to his team in Long Xuyen. It was more than enough time to make us both feel that we should definitely keep in touch.

After six months of daily contact by Yahoo Instant Messenger – sometimes for as much a three hours at a time, I traveled to meet him in July 2004. We spent more than two weeks together in Cameroon, where I met his family, including his 101-year-old grandfather! William’s family is from a tribe called Bamileke and their tribal village is Bagante. I wasn’t much of a tourist in Cameroon, but I did manage to buy a ridiculous amount of fabric in Yaounde. I also enjoyed the poisson brise and plaintain frites, which I managed to eat for dinner 3 or 4 nights a week. It was a great trip and confirmed for both of us that we felt strongly that we had real love for one another.

William was refused his first application to travel to Canada for a visit while we were in Cameroon. We felt that since he had been playing in Vietnam for three years, he would have a better chance of applying from there. In Fall 2004, William applied for a visitor’s visa from the Canadian embassy in Vietnam. His application was rejected.

Of course, we were still on the computer or on the phone everyday. I’ve also exchanged email with his two or three of his brothers and sisters. He has a total of four sisters and two brothers: Pagna, Yonkua, Biadja, Dany, Annie and Marcelle. Biadja and Dany live in Italy, while everyone else, including his parents are in Cameroon. Biadja and I have really challenging part English-part French conversations because her English is about as good as my French.

While working out the best way to get William here to meet my friends and family, I visited Vietnam for two weeks in December 2004. We had another great visit and I watched a few exhibition games. It was so great to see William play and meet his team and coaches. Before I left, we went to the huge market in the middle of Saigon and haggled for my engagement ring. We went from dating long distance to being engaged long distance.

At the beginning of the soccer season in the new year, William realized that the league would be on a break in April 2005 between the two rounds. We decided that would be an excellent time for him to try for a quick visit. Around this time in February, my job was no longer a complicating factor in deciding what to do next.

I planned a tour in India with Andrea in May and dropped in on William in Vietnam before I met up with her in Delhi. I was surprised by how much more difficult it gets to say good-bye each time. William had obtained a visa to visit Australia while we were in the process of applying for his Canadian visitor’s visa, so we traveled to Bangkok together and then parted ways.

Even though William’s Canadian visa application was refused (she just “didn’t believe him”), he still traveled to Australia and the team he practiced with to keep in shape invited him to stay and play for them. We were thrilled (well, sort of) at the possibility of moving to Australia, but the Australian government was not as enthusiastic.

William returned to Vietnam before his Australian visitor visa expired (don’t want to upset anyone) and we have decided that we just need to live somewhere that doesn’t require a ton of forms filled out, a fortune, an emotional ransom and an interview to make a decision. Right now, the only candidate is Cameroon. We’re putting our relationship first and we’ll organize everything else while we’re together, instead of trying to coordinate life decisions from different continents.

I’m in love, excited, overwhelmed and planning a wedding by IM . . . stay tuned.

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