Beauabram’s Travels

Whats up my thugs and gang-stars? Some definite travel plans have been definated, for definition;thats when things firm up, in the planning sense. Feeling a bit irreverent, I’m getting exited as my first trip–the mini-trip to the Big Daddy RTW–To Eastern Europe is booked. I leave June 4th to London, then Ill just chill in Gatwick for 8 odd hours until my EasyJet flight takes me to, what the natives call “Praha” Prague, the city of sin, the place where I win, Ill holla at my kin, ’bout the places I been…gotta stop listening to rap in the background when I’m writing this incoherent drivel. Anyways, I’m going to go from Prague, to Brno (Possible stop at Plzen “The Birth place of Beer”–some book’s words not my own) through Vienna for a moment, then either pass through Slovenia or straight to Croatia. A friend lives somewhere within the Croatian borders, if she gets back to me I’ll have a couch and more importantly a guide to lead me along the path to Slavic righteousness.

But hold on a second–

– I will have spent almost three days, in various stages of sick, tired and BROKE in Gatwick after this next trip. The first time, after being relieved of all my bank held currency via this call home cheap pay phone scheme in Spain, my cards maxed out over 45 minutes of drunken “I love you, nonononononononoooo…I miss you, no man, like 8 cents a minute..I KNOW! Stupid Spaniards, this call might as well be free…uh huh…yeah no Im not looking at other girls…etc” I had to pan handle for change for a sangwich in Spain, that had to last the 2 days I slept in the Gatwick airport before I boarded, stinking, reeking and starving. Phone cards people–s’all a brother is gonna say. I still don’t know how it cost me 1200$, but as the kids say “whatev’” word endings are kitsch now, apparently.

–second time, I had to fly home early from my wintering in Spain, I got sick the second I touched town in Valencia , stayed that way for three days despite the care of three lovely Italians who kept my spirits up as they sang songs and blow-dried their manes in their matching bathrobes. I staggered somehow from Valencia, to the plane, stopping twice to puke in trashcans and not on myself or my increasingly heavy backpack, to the bus then the airport, where I then somehow woke up on the same chair outside the Gatwick Starbuck’s I had spent time with 2 years previous munching on a filthy Spanish Baguette , now once again praying for my boarding call. Oh, did I tell you about the neon green cough syrup my fever addled brain told me to consume to get rid of my sniffles and piffles? That was fun, in reverse, with the added pigments of various paella dishes I had stupidly slurped down sometime, leave it to my stomach to find food in a place supposedly devoid of anything but heaves and spittle. yuck. But back to the thread of whatever I was weaving–

So, Eastern Europe, the Adriatic Coast, Dalmatian Islands, castles, beer, Eastern European girls and food and yes yes yes. Then Ill come back, wash the undies, and practice surfing so me and Max can go at it in Fiji without me eating my shit like in waves of the Pacific in Nica.

This was almost incomprehensible, but Ill take pictures, America, and you know I’ll share stories. I think some former students are going to be reading this, so Ill make believe ill be spoon feeding orphans and reading to the blind. Or something,

b

Let me preface this entry with the following: if I ever sound like a whiny pompous tool bag who has nothing better to do than lament where he should fly off to in the world, and how HARD it is to see the continents and countries and counties of the world, then bitch slap me now. And in the future, and well, whenever. If i get uppity then you need to de-up me.

So I have June and half of July completely free and I want to stave off boredom by, well, travelling. Since I wont be going to Europe on my RTW I thought I would pop over and have a look-see at Croatia, Czech Republic and Slovenia, etc for a few weeks, a month. I can get to London for like, 80$ in taxes (I have miles built up) and the whole thing wouldnt eat into my big trip budget much. I wanted to go to Croatia from Bari, Italy in the summer of ‘05 but Micah said “no” and I said “Come on, dude” and micah said no and took a 2 hour dump and shaved his hobo beard off for the rest of the day and took a nap and off we went, west from Italy, not east. Well, my fondness for Micah and his ability to look even more greasy than the local Neopolitans we were mixing it up with at times, his ass will be in Little Rock drinking tall boys and wishing he had my lean lats and airline miles, in that order.

So, one: anyone want to do some island hopping in the Croatian Dalmatian islands? It’s like Greece, but with less ass grabbing and gyros. If I offended and Greeks with that than take it up with the aforementioned Micah, he’s an ass grabbing Itialano so geographically speaking, close enough for my ass and this entry. Also, perusing the Croatian travel site, their videos had naked chicks sunning about every 2 minutes, very nonchalantly I must add too, great tourist videos if you ask me, but you didn’t.

To the point: 87% sure Im going to fly to London, then swing through Prague, Zagreb and maybe even farther east and then back to London. Suggestions? Questions? Ass grabbing stories?

B