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“I just want to go home”

“You are home” says Mooji.

” Your ‘home’ is just an idea of yourself.  At ‘home’, there are all of these people that tell you that you are like this and you are like that, and now you are away from them and you do not have anyone to tell you who you are. But  ‘YOU’ are home.  Remove the mental representation of yourself and come home, into consciousness of the whole.”

This was the first question I heard at Satasang with Mooji.  Well it wasn’t exactly a question, but more of a plea for comfort from this teddy bear Rastafarian spiritual teacher, Mooji.  During Satsang, gathering of truth, people can come forward in front of a spiritual teacher and asked questions to the wise one (as opposed to silently listening to someone speak , telling you only what they want you to know).  I listened to a girl not more than 10 years older than me let her tears pour out into the microphone in front of 50 or so like-minded strangers, as I gaze out beyond their scarved, dreaded, shaved, or messy haired heads at the sacred Arunachala mountain. 

It is mid January and I have spent two weeks between small beachside towns, Mamallaporum, and Auroville.  Along the way I picked up a long desired MoonStone ring, a purple scarf, and two fellow travelers:  Isa from London (formally named Lizzy, we determined she needed to adopt a new name since she just began a Round the World trip and starting fresh means also starting with a new name) and Rachel from Australia

After a few weeks of being hypnotized by the sounds of the Bengal sea, I could feel a pull inland.  The mountains were calling my name.  Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore the water, but I worship the mountains.  After spending 23 years of my life either in the mountains or in plain view of them, I go crazy without them.  I had been recommended by a friend at the Ashram in Bangalore to go to Mount Arunachalla in Thiruvanamalai, especially for the full moon.  To honor the full moon, every month thousands of barefoot devotees gather from all over to walk 16 km’s around the sacred Arunachala Mountain.  Considering my love for full moons and mountains, I followed the calling.  However, I soon learned that the calling was from a voice, the voice of Mooji. 

 Mooji, a Jamaican Native now living in London, has been sharing spiritual knowledge in the form of satsang (gathering of truth) for over 10 years.   Mooji beams with love and compassion, but “unsparing is his scrutiny and uncompromising stance, that the ‘I’ concept is inescapably exposed as a mental construction, when viewed from the formless awareness we are.” 

I met two sweet American musicians (also known as Loveful Heights) in Auroville who had a place in Thiruvanamalai with one of their boyfriend’s, Nataraj, who worked for Mooji.  Our first night in Tiro, Isa exclaimed to Nataraj, “It’s amazing how we just ended up here.  It isn’t anything like I planned.”  Nataraj replied, “That Is something that India teaches you.  No matter how much you plan, you always end up where you need to be.”  And I needed to be with Mooji.

I went to Satsang with Mooji every morning that I was in Tiro.  The following are some notes I took from his talks:

Question:  Mooji, I have experienced so much failure in my life and it never seems to escape me. From relationships, to jobs, to just plain bad luck.  How can I move from failure to success? 

Mooji: We define ourselves by our limitations of our mind and body.  We are defining ourselves by the doer, the mind.  Who is the person that is aware of the mind?  This is your true being which is untouched by our imagined [failed] self.  Once you realize and understand the true Self, you will not be attached to the limitations of your mind and body.

Question: I still have thoughts about my ex-husband and how he hurt me…

Mooji: [interrupts] You say he is your EX-husband.  Then he is your EX problem.  The problem is gone.  However, he is just like any other memory, which will come and go.  The feeling comes with the memory, but do not dwell in it.    

Fears hold us hostage, they are not real.  The fear is held in the mind for the person our mind thinks we are. 

When you are in the moment, there is no need for promises.  Promises are of the mind, they are of the future. 

What is that which witnessing the coming and going of emotions?  That which does not come and go.

 “I” is consciousness, it came before your given name which separates us. 

All that comes will also go.  Do not dwell in it.  Anger, sadness, stress… do not dwell in it.  It is like a puddle of muddy water in your path.  Why would you stand in it, and fill your shoes with mud and water, when you can step in, then out and keep moving on with only slightly wet shoes?

Human Being: A Human is a Human, and a Being is divine.  When we think we are only Human, we become hostage to our thoughts.

Love vs Attachment: Love is freedom, and Attachment is need.  We Need someone else when we are not one with ourselves.

Use the taste of vulnerability to find the one who is vulnerable. 

The Moon is like the mind, and the self is like the Sun.  The Moon does not shine a light by itself, but it appears to be that way because of the Sun.  Recognize the source of the mind.

What you are looking for, is where you are looking from.

We are perceiving what we are conceiving.

When we aren’t satisfied, we are restless.  A need to fix something, change something, buy something, do something. 

If you are depending on the mind, then Life isn’t magical.

You cannot do anything from your heart that is wrong for anybody.

Take me away from everything that takes me away from myself.  

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P.S – if you are wondering, Isa and I did the Full Moon Walk on January 28th.  16 kms around Arunachala mountain, it took around 5 hours!



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