Oh, and the trip itinerary is tentatively:

Kunming–> Shenzhen–>Hong Kong–> Macau–> Vietnam–> Laos–> Cambodia–> Bangkok (then flying to HKG and then home on August 14)

Malaysia and Singapore were on the wish list, but I don’t think time will allow. However, since we’re travelling during the rainy season, maybe we’ll hurry through all of the beach destinations we’ve scheduled. Maybe that weather knowledge should persuade me to only pack a swimming suit and flip flops since other clothes would be pointless in a typhoon.

About two weeks after I got back, I was hit by a city bus. Random. Anyway, it hit my head, back and foot, so I got to experience Chinese healthcare firsthand. Not good. If I didn’t already want to die, staying at the hospital for a prolonged period of time would have killed me anyway. Needless to say, I’ve spent the last few months hoping I never need medical attention the rest of the time I’m in China! No head injuries (we only know this because I spent that night at Havvah’s and she woke me up every two hours to make sure I didn’t have a concussion), and according to the X-ray of my foot (for which they X-rayed the WRONG side of my foot), it was ok. Our best guess (from qualified English teachers’ non-medical perspectives) is that it was a fracture. It was pretty messed up for a while, but not much to be done, I guess. But it’s a great story to tell at parties, right? : )

I got nailed with six writing classes this semester and two speaking, all for the English Department. WOW. That many writing classes make it impossible to ever get caught up. Of course, most of my students loathe the fact that they have to take writing, as if it were my decision to make them! Oh well. We’re coping the best we can, but not without lots of power struggles. Let’s just say that the sophomores have been putting up quite a fight. Character building, right?

Of course, in general, 2008 has been wild for China as a whole. All of the Olympic hooplah is crazy. Being in Yunnan province makes things even more intense since we border Tibet and Sichuan province, in addition to Burma. Scary. It has definitely been an interesting year to be here with everything going on politically and environmentally.

I have managed to squeeze in some traveling, even though I teach everyday, so taking long weekend trips requires trying to get time off. Our school took us on a weekend trip to Wuding in April. It was pretty, but the altitude on Lion Mountain killed me! Two weekends later Havvah and I went to Lijiang. The altitude wasn’t very friendly there, either, but not as bad as Wuding. My overall impression of Lijiang is that it’s like Chinese Disneyland—touristy, commercialized and not somewhere I’d need to visit again. It was really pretty, but I preferred Dali. Finally, I just got back from Vietnam about two weeks ago. A friend from high school was vacationing there, so I finagled the time off (at the eleventh hour!) and made it to Hanoi alone via night train, buses and border crossings. Once I made it there, we had a blast! We spent a few days in Hanoi and then headed to Halong Bay for a three day boat trip. It was a much-needed break from the semester.

So, I’ve been very busy with everything so far this semester. We just finished midterms last week, so the end-of-school feeling has hit. In typical China fashion, I have no idea when I’ll finally be finished with my finals, but still starting to think about coming home, probably sometime in August.

So anyway, clearly December is lacking posts. Well, it honestly was a whirlwind. First off, Christmas was no extravagant ordeal here. In fact, the lack of family and having to teach on Christmas just made it a regular day, which is exactly how I dealt with it. So, no Christmas in 2007, but that’s ok because…my mom and sisters announced they would be visiting in mere weeks!! Actually, they will be here next Saturday. So, that also put some more craziness into December with flights, visas and all of their travel arrangements. And of course, that was in addition to getting all of Ryan’s stuff ready for his Asia adventures. Definitely good things to be busy with!! Yay for seeing everyone soon!

All right, so school. Well, of course I had been wondering about the final exam schedule for weeks but that’s a whole other fiasco. Anyway, condensed version: Lack of planning and notification is just another day here. So, when at last the secret dates were revealed to me, I was told that my four sections of VLS could have their final exams during the last week of classes. Ok, that’s fine. But, we would have to hold out for the writing exam until January 18 since it’s a core class for the major, blah blah blah, etc. Of course that’s not cool since the family arrives the next day and I’ll have 75 finals to grade and get paperwork lined up for (more on that to come). And after much protest, it seems that the almighty gods from some very authoritative department that I don’t even know, refused to budge on the date even with my reason. Throughout all of this, my students had also been badgering me to change the exam date because they wanted to go home earlier. No go. So that explains my current presence in Kunming waiting until next week’s final. So, whatever, no change on that. Well, so I thought I had everything lined up until it was sprung on me that I should give all four sections of the VLS exam together on one day and needed to make those arrangements. Ironically, the purpose would be to cut down on cheating since the almighty gods choose from two versions of the exam you present to them and select the one that will be given as the final. The other will wait until those who fail the class appeal to retake the final. Efficient. Right. So anyway, there was this whole fiasco in arranging a date and time that worked for all 140 of the students and finally resulted in me washing my hands to the matter and telling them that if they couldn’t make it to the final, it wasn’t my problem (Yeah, this is the part of December when I became utterly stressed out and pretty much resembled every evil Disney villain. I’m not even lying; the runaround with everything was out of control.)

So put that one aside for a minute. The good thing that happened was that I read the fine print on some of my IBS forms and found out I could give their final exam a week earlier than expected AND could cancel the last week of class if I went that route. SWEET! So, we crammed in five-paragraph essays and had a final. Voila. Ok, so that was finished, except for the grading and a little bit of paperwork.

Then came the waves of e-mails about the paperwork for the English Department. Very helpful ones, but the fact that there was this much was crazy!! And in Chinese!! (p.s. I went to IBS to ask for help with my Chinese forms and they thought it was strange. Did I also mention my life began to resemble a bizarre sitcom for the last few weeks? Honestly, it was weird.) So yes, on top of the paperwork came the instructions about how to grade the finals. I thought I had accomplished something by mastering the format of the exam (nothing was logical in December either), but the icing on the cake came with the absurd “check, half-check and ‘x’” grading system. Yes, every question on the exam must have one of those. EVERY question. Plus, each section needs a signature. I’ve now signed my name 1,042 times. Ok, so all of these crazy instructions came and I felt like someone was making this hugely insane maze for me. I was on my own for it, too, since there are only three of us teaching for that Department and one of them was vacationing in Hawaii and the other is pretty illusive. So anyway, needless to say, I was waiting for another set of instructions saying something like “wrap the exams in a purple polka-dotted ribbon with a Hallmark Gold Crown sticker and seal with a kiss after barking like a dog three times.” Really, it was that insane.

Back to the VLS exam. It backfired…miserably. The whole purpose for combining it was the Department’s idea to cut down on cheating. Well, the room I was given was just big enough to accomodate 140 students…meaning they were elbow-to-elbow and quite cozy for looking at their neighbor’s test. Luckily (yes, another fiasco) someone else from the Department was available to help supervise so it wasn’t just me. It was like babysitting monkeys. And there was cheating. I actually threw a student out for using notes. No sympathy.

So currently I’ve finished IBS. I went there yesterday to enter my grades since their Website is in Chinese, so probably better to get help. Three of us showed up at the same time to do this, however, Shelly (the woman in charge) looks at me and is like “why do you need help?” Um, well because I don’t understand the directions in Chinese and hello, there are three of us, so clearly I’m not the only incompetent one. Again, truly a hateful relationship from both sides there. So, of course both of their logins worked, but mine didn’t. Of course. So then I was accused of changing a password for a site I’d never even logged in to. Why MEEEE?? Ugh. Anyway, got them finished. Turned in everything for them and said “good riddance.”

That now leaves me with four exam boxes (yes, things are very official) on my floor with completed paperwork, waiting to be turned in on Friday. And while waiting for next week’s exam, I have 70 term papers to read. I’ve already discovered several of them pop right up on Google, so now we’re on to plagiarism issues. Awesome.

As far as social life. Well, I attended the English Club Christmas party. Of course my students were cracking up that I was there and then there was this whole thing with the male students wanting to dance with me. Made the mistake of dancing with one…note to self not to do that again. And then dancing with one caused a whole line to form. EEEEeek.

We did have quite the New Year’s celebration as well. Well, actually it had started a few days prior quite on accident. Anyway, we made the mistake of going to a Chinese club without any male protectors so that lead to a whole fiasco with drunk Chinese men. However, on the upside, later that evening Havvah and I won a dance contest and got a case of beer. It was quite a sight and the video is NOT going on YouTube EVER!! Haha, but it was pretty fun. Other than that, all of the other teachers are starting to head out for the break. I’ve got to stick around late because of my last final. We do have one last soiree planned to celebrate my birthday on Saturday. And seeing as how we usually cause a scene wherever we go and have to avoid certain bars for a few weeks after, we’ll have a good amount of time over the break to hope that we can show our faces again come March

So, if you’re in Kunming, come out for some birthday partay-ing. Otherwise catch me on the U.S. leg of my upcoming Kunming-Beijing-Bangkok-Koh Tao-WI-MN-Des Moines-Phoenix escapade. Let me know and we’ll see what works out!

Happy 2008 as well!

Anyway, so we made it back to Kunming in time to find out more of the madness involving the sports competition. Prior to leaving for Dali on Thursday (11/15), we were informed via e-mail that the Foreign Office was not providing the outfits we needed for the opening ceremony of the sports competition as previously promised. Instead, they were going to give us 700RMB to buy clothes. Someone inquired about what kind of clothing to which we were sent a picture of a track suit. On Tuesday night we also received a detailed itinerary requesting our presence at random things (opening ceremony walking practice, etc.). Whatever. So, we got back and scrambled to get the money and figure out where to go for a track suit, of all things. We hunted them down on Wednesday, only to then find out that by track suit, they had indeed meant formal business clothes. Don’t ask. Of course, it was too late to do anything since the event was the next day. So, we figured we would just compromise with something we already had for teaching. (Yes, I am now the proud owner of one blue fake Adidas tracksuit. Pretty sweet, I know.) Fine. In the midst of all of this hoopla, it turns out our Foreign Office contact had been relieved of her duties!! As in, was no longer employed with the school. Very excellent news, especially considering my track record with her. Well, the icing on the cake came Thursday morning. Of course, we didn’t have class…or so we thought. Turns out, on Wednesday, the school had decided to reinstate classes for Thursday morning. BUT, no one had told the foreign teachers. So, a whole mess ensued for the two of us who actually have Thursday morning classes. That was it, especially considering the class I missed was an IBS one, who I already have a history with. However, due to the communication error, it wasn’t my fault, so I won’t get penalized. But, the overall truama of the whole event had me ready to pack up and go home. There were so many incidents within one week concerning the sport competition and this was the last straw of ridiculousness. Anyway. So, the afternoon came, and we showed up to the ceremony and were paraded around in our own faux Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade-type glory. Awesome. It was truly an outrageous event where each department, right down to the campus security guards, took part in the ceremony. And, the coordinating outfits, ranging from matching suits, cheerleader fringe costumes and a variety of tracksuits, were quite a sight. Sadly, no leg warmers or sweatbands. I guess the competition actually included track and field events, but I’m not going to lie, the concept of an aerobics competition had me hoping for more of an ’80s Flashdance-type atmosphere. Sad. We finally got out of there and were able to celebrate Thanksgiving Italian style with pizza and wine. Hey, I don’t really like that much turkey anyway, so it worked out well, but missing a family holiday was pretty rough.

The weekend was busy, but in a good way. On Saturday we went to Dounan, which is the largest flower market in Asia and distribtes worldwide. Even though we got there a little late in their day (11 a.m.), we still found lots of cool stuff and I managed to leave with about 60 daisies, quite unintentionally, and for very cheaply. Anyway, so I hauled my flowers back, standing, for an hour on the bus. It was also then I discovered that finding a vase in the city was nearly impossible. And then, I also rediscovered that I am not Martha Stewart. Flower arranging is not necessarily my area of talent, so there’s no way better to find that out in a large-scale than being surrounded by five dozen flowers. Oh well, they were pretty.

Saturday night there was a Christmas fair put on by some local foreign-owned businesses, which made for a very Christmas-y atmosphere. Sunday was also hectic and came with the onset of a cold, which made for a brutal week and has until now kept me hidden in my apartment, aside from classes. Oh yes, and did I mention the building they removed on one side of our building? Yes, we returned from Dali to find that that building was scheduled to no longer exist. And by finding that, I mean that on my third floor apartment, I was now eye-level with Chinese construction men dismantling the building. Of course, since the curtains on the opposite side of my apartment are usually permanently closed (due to my students informing me quite happily that they could see in my apartment), I guess why not eliminate my remaining source of sunlight. Of course, that was better than showering with an audience. So yes, the week has been filled with near earthquake conditions when they decided to pull that building’s walls down one morning, to salvage crews working around the clock to find good bricks in the rubble. So now, we are fully exposed to the rest of campus and of course, know that if a building is coming down, the duration of our stay here will likely be filled with construction on a new addition to campus. Swell.

Other than that, I was VERY thankful for potato soup at Silver Spoon while I was sick this week. Just like home! I’ve also hit my three month mark in China. Scary. But, down to two months until the semester break expedition!! YAY!! Also found out we have a break for Jan. 1, but the school hasn’t set the dates yet. And, that falls within some of the finals. I will say it’s very difficult to understand how an organization functions with such seemingly little organization. I only say this because of the lack of knowledge of all school dates…it’s just unfathomable, right down to when school starts and ends. And, how is it fair to reinstate school the day before?? Honestly, I think that some day I will wake up and discover China has decided to change the days of the week, at the last minute.

So, those of the highlights of the recent weeks. Oh, and did I mention that my new favorite clothing item is long underwear, a beautiful solution to lack of central heating?

In other interesting local news: The weather has been decent and somewhat Fallish. Despite the periodic rain, I think the overall climate is pretty awesome in comparison to other parts of China (ie. I regularly see a clear blue sky and the sun). Um, also if you happen to see Kunming in the news anytime soon, there was a huge drug bust on a deal that was headed here. And finally, just for your amusement, our school is hosting an aerobics competition next week. Yeah. It’s insane. It’s like synchronized aerobics for guys and girls. If you walk around campus, there are huge groups of people practicing. I’m even talking all-male groups. But, the best part is that the foreign teachers are going to be paraded around at it…in special outfits. It will be picture-worthy, for sure. And, evidently school is cancelled for two days for this blessed event. Nice for Thanksgiving, but lack of notice is not cool. Never a dull moment

And finally, if there was ever a good introduction to China, it would be this (hilarious and sadly true!!): http://www.sinosplice.com/china/pictguide/

In other news, some issues with one of the parts of campus I teach for has revealed that Chinese college is more like prison. Let’s just say that students are hunted down if they aren’t in class, teachers are not allowed to use their discretion for anything (such as ending class early) and some reacent incidents have made me pretty thankful for my liberal arts education. I’m not saying I want students to be absent, but really, they’re adults so if they miss, that’s their problem. So anyway, I’m likely going to be deported soon, even though I was not aware of these “rules”. I’ve more or less begged the Foreign Language/English Department to fill my schedule next semester so that I don’t get split between the two and become hated more by the other department that shall remain nameless.

In good news though, I got approval for winter holiday dates so plane tickets and hotels can now be booked! I was in negotiation with all of this since first, school break schedules appear to be unheard of and the fact that I have two departments’ finals schedules to work around. One of them starts finals in late December and the other doesn’t start until mid-January, in addition to conflicts on the school start date for the next semester. But, I have the go-ahead, so school will just have to start without me if that’s the case

So, no posts and MIA. What’s the story? Well, the last week of September we had a double week of classes to make up for the ones that we wouldn’t have during the October holiday. Not cool. Anyway, so in the midst of the double week, I was also signed up to judge my department’s CCTV speech contest, get my contestants ready for it, hostess another university’s CCTV competition and go to the next level of my school’s competition to watch my students. CRAZY! It was fun for the most part. I enjoyed being able to be involved in so many aspects of the competition, but I’m pretty sick of hearing about global citizenship (the speech topic). Anyway, so I made it through the crazy week, which included teaching on the weekend…booo. (On a sidenote: I tried to let my Sunday morning class leave early, well, pretty much when we got there, and we got caught!! AND, then we got put under classroom arrest, with some woman standing outside the door until I shut it in her face. CRAZY!! There are days when I wonder why I haven’t been deported!!)

Anyway, so last week (first week of Oct.) we had vacation. We just chilled on Monday after the killer week. Due to a complicated story involving the Foreign Office and a plane ticket, I owed them a good chunk of my first pay check, so exotic travel was a little out of budget (bummer). Oh well. We still had a good time doing some touring around Kunming. On Tuesday we went to a park called Black Dragon Pool. It was in the mountains (which was quite the escapade trying to get there), so it was fun to do some hiking and actually see some trees changing color. I miss Fall! Then on Wednesday, one of our students and her friends took us to a park about an hour away called the Yunnan Nationalities/Minorities Park. Our province has at least 26 minorities, so this place was kind of like the EPCOT of China. Each minority has a little settlement with stuff from their culture. Of course, being minorities ourselves, people were quite amused by our presence. It turned out to be a good thing that we didn’t get to travel far because then I came down with a cold/virus of some sort for the rest of break. Not fun, but better than having it for teaching.

So, that means that we’ve gotten through another week of teaching. We are battling massive amounts of rain and thunderstorms this week, so that’s a bummer, too.

Those are pretty much the highlights of the last few weeks, well the condensed version