I cycled to the beach a few kms away from Hoi An this morning in a friendly and benevolent mood, which made for an amusing time, I soon found myself surrounded by Vietnamese women of all demographic groups chatting to me, stroking me, massaging me, and trying to sell me things. Anyone who can say 'simple but funky' and 'don't be lazy,be crazy' in perfect english gets my custom. I learnt a lot about Vietnamese women and their babies in the process and am apparently going to be some kind of imaginary godmother to various small children who I will never meet. My favourite lady was an old woman called Lula who kept saying Lula number 1! in a way which made me think of that song mambo no. 5. They're so sweet and genuinely friendly it's hard to say no, because you always leave smiling and so do they. I've been hanging around with a random asortment of english people in the evenings lately and am getting back into the ancient british customs of talking about the weather, bitching about french people and taking the piss.