Going where I’ve never been

 …we are back.

We were ready after several days in Bangkok, most of which was spent lost, sweaty and frantically trying to check all of the to-do’s off of our list. We did, however, get to spend time with great friends and eventually got most everything done (the key was giving up on thriftiness and resigning ourselves to taking taxis); by the time Tuesday rolled around, we were all set.

Unfortunately we had separate flights, as we’d bought them at different times and I’d ended up changing mine (I can’t even imagine having come home in January as originally planned!), so Gabe was headed to the airport at 3a.m. on Wednesday morning whereas I had the luxury of a more humane 3p.m. departure time.

It was bizarre. I left Bangkok at 7p on Wednesday, arriving in Hong Kong at 11p. I left at midnight, then arrived in LA, 13 hours later, at 8p on Wednesday. Luckily I was on Cathay Pacific, quite possibly one of the most impressive airlines out there – personal screen with every movie and television show you could dream of, really good Asian food and free alcohol – so sleeping was no problem.

I knew that I was back in America as soon as I left the international terminal and headed for my domestic flight at LAX. People (they looked so big!) spaced themselves out as much as humanly possible in the waiting areas (back in the land of personal bubbles!), the dining options included Starbucks, Chilis and another Starbucks, and there was a $6.95 fee to change money (I’ll keep that 300 baht, thank you). I had to be careful when ordering from the aforementioned coffee retailer (hey, I was freezing!) and remind myself that these people actually speak  English, that I don’t need to use 2-year old vocabulary to get my point across. “Have coffee? No want milk” would’ve gotten me some straaaange looks…

There was no free anything on my AA flight to DFW, but luckily it was short. We landed at 5:45a on Thursday (?) and before I knew it I was being reunited with my family, which was absolutely wonderful! After lots of greetings and stories and whatnot, my parents took me out for breakfast where I was presented with a water glass big enough to bathe in and an omelette the size of a football. Yep, I was back…

The past few days have been a whirlwind of family, friends, FOOD and trying to ease back into things, culturally and otherwise. I had Gabe back a few hours after I’d arrived, and it was nice to have someone else be as taken aback as I was at the sheer size of things here – houses, roads, food, drinks, people, prices – just incredible. We were taken out for Mexican food and decided to share a dish – between the two of us we couldn’t even finish the grilled veggies, much less touch the tortillas or beans! We were marvelling at everything; some of it disgusted us, and other things (like big, clean bathrooms!) delighted us!

It’s great to have the people that we love within reach once more, and we are excited about getting back down to our beloved city of Austin, but overall I’ve got to say that we’re both a bit bored. There are no surprises when you walk into a store, nothing to look at when you drive down the road, nothing to make you think “Wow, I’ve never seen that before!”

We’re slowly easing our way in; we’ve both done our taxes, have been scouring rental house ads, I’m back to checking my cellphone every five minutes to see if someone called and within a few days we will have forced ourselves to start thinking about… jobs. There are a lot of great things about being back and it’s fun to bring home what we’ve learned (I’ve been in Asian groceries three times already), but it’s looking like the next adventure will be much sooner than later!

The best of, worst of and many things in between…

 Guesthouses:

Hands down, the worst guesthouse was a no-name hotel in Samut Songkran (Thailand) that we ended up in after a fiasco of a day trying to reach an obscure floating market. Between the handprints on the walls, the thick goo sliding down the bathroom wall and the furniture that appeared to have been attacked with a sledgehammer, it was the sort of place where you wear long pants to bed and don’t touch anything. The jungle in Cambodia was a bit rough at times as well…

Vietnam had the best places to sleep overall; $8 was the going rate for a clean room, real bedcovers, hot shower and typically a television. The best room award, however, has to go to Rainbow Chalets on Tioman Island in Malaysia – there is a post not too far back that’ll tell you all about it!

Transport:

We’ve had an uncountable number of hellacious, never-ending travel days, slews of breakdowns and blown tires and traffic jams and buses full of animals and carsick Asians, but the one that stands out from them all was our bus ride from Sam Neua to Nong Khiaw in Laos. It was 14 hours of sharp mountain switchbacks in a contraption that was more or less held together with duct tape. The hilltribe women were vomiting out the windows, the engine croaked, the rearview mirror was ripped off by a passing truck, there were no food stops (the toilet stops were useless for us female passengers, as it involved the side of the road  you can’t actually step off of the side of the road for fear of unexploded bombs) and by the 12^th hour the center aisle was filled with occupied plastic stools. The guy next to us was drunk, breathing down Gabe’s neck and occasionally stroking his arm – we had never been so relieved to reach a destination!

The fishing boat full of live ducks that broke down three times (and was repaired by draining oil from the motorbikes onboard) on the way to Phu Quoc was a memorable one as well.

The best transport? Every single motorbike that we’ve rented ourselves.

 Phrases:

In Thailand, the two most useful phrases out there were mai ow, meaning “I don’t want” (think moto drivers, souvenir sellers and the obscene amount of plastic bags that are shoved at you for the most minute purchases) and phet mahk mahk, meaning “make it very spicy!”

In Cambodia, it was simply “hello,” the greeting that is screamed at you by adorable, ecstatic barefoot children everywhere that you go.

The most important phrase in Vietnam was bow niew tien, meaning “how much?” If you don’t ask this before touching, looking or eating, you will be charged five times what you expected.

In Laos, sabai dee served the same purpose as “hello” in Cambodia. The cutest kids on earth, no question about it!

 Purchases:

There is so, so much to buy in Asia, but a few items have been especially useful. One is the blue silk blanket that we used as a bedcover in Bangkok and then brought along on our travels, unaware of just how many filthy beds it was going to protect us from!

Another are the spoons that we picked up at a market in Laos for about 10 cents – no more fashioning utensils out of paper for takeaway food!

 Surprises and Disappointments:

The best surprises of the trip included our intense Cambodian jungle trek in Ratanakiri Province, the beautiful, vineyard covered mountains of Dalat in Vietnam, Juara Beach in Malaysia and the entire country of Laos.

Biggest disappointments? Koh Phi Phi in Thailand and Sapa in Vietnam. Two “must see” destinations that we would never encourage anyone to visit. Both are exploited, over-touristed zoos.

 Foods:

Eating has been one of the greatest pleasures of SE Asia, but there have certainly been a few slipups! One in particular was the spicy-looking dish that we pointed at one night in Bangsue – it turned out to be small, bony fish with the distinct taste of Bangkok canal sludge.

Gabe was pretty put off by the grilled chicken skewers he bought one night that ended up being grilled chicken livers, and the interesting-looking noodle soup that we spotted in a Laos market proved to be a cringe-worthy bowl of cold noodles and gooey tapioca mass in vinegar. In Cambodia we just stayed away from the street stalls, as nearly all of the dishes included innards or insects – we’re adventurous, but we have limits!

I couldn’t even begin to name the best of, nearly every meal has been a delight. A few standouts include pad kaprow (fried basil, chilies and meat on rice), anything at a Thai point-place, som tam (papaya salad), Indian anything (but especially Kashmir naan and masala tosai), laab (cold herb and meat salad), khao soi (best noodle soup on the planet) and bun cha. Just refer back to the food blogs (or visit our kitchen, once we have one) for more!

Drinks:

All Thai beer is terrible, and the local specialty of Sangsom (rice whiskey) and Red Bull is especially horrendous.

Beer Lao is wonderful and bia hoi is 25 cents per mug, thus making it equally great. Chai yen, or Thai tea, is a tooth-rotting delight of 4 parts sweet condensed milk, 3 parts sugar and one part tea, usually served in a bag full of ice.

Memorable Experiences:

No worst-of here, these are simply a few encounters that will remain foremost in our memories.

The jungle trek in Cambodia, especially the final night, after we’d hiked 35km in 8 hours, sitting in the village learning rice wine drinking games with all of the Brau men.

The lunch we had our last day in Vietnam. We were sick and tired of the country, ready to get out, but were able to leave on a good note after sitting down to a meal in a family’s living room. As the wife and daughter cooked up plate after plate of meats and veggies, the husband treated us to beer and whiskey shots and photos of his military days and smiles.

The ceremony and dinner that we experienced after being invited in the chief’s hut at an Akha New Year celebration in Laos.

The internet café in Sam Neua, Laos, whose owner had just had his first child and invited us to celebrate with his friends and Beer Lao, then several days later had us back for dinner and toasts with his family.

And, of course, the diving trip.

Glossary

Frequently used phrases, terms and their true meanings…

Where are you from? – I want to sell you something.

Hello my friend! – I want to sell you something.

Special price for you! – I want to sell you something for 5x what it should be.

Is very far! Walk not possible! (coming from any sort of driver or friend of a driver) – It’s just around the corner.

Full moon party – Payday for the ladyboys, expensive for those with wallets.

Thai toe – The grimy, blackened effect that you get on the soles of your feet after a day of trudging around Bangkok.

Building juice – The liquid that inevitable falls onto your head from above in any Thai city. Air conditioners? Drains? Something worse?

Let’s go explore! (coming from Allison) – Let’s go walk at least 20 miles, just for the hell of it.

Let’s see where this goes! (coming from Gabe) – Get your climbing shoes on…this will involve mountains, rivers, heavy brush and/or caves.

I’m ready when you are. (in an internet cafe) – I’ve checked Facebook 15 times, my photos are uploaded, no one has replied to my emails yet, Skype is broken and I can’t take any more video game explosions. Please, let’s go now.

Let’s keep looking (when shown a room) – This is a shithole.

I’m thirsty (coming from Gabe) – I want a 7-11 fountain drink, must be Sprite and MUST have ice.

I need a snack (coming from Allison) – I want a Milo bar or an icecream cone.

My stomach isn’t cooperating… – Don’t touch me, I need a toilet. Now.

Let’s eat spicy food! – I’m constipated.

Gabe, are you awake? – It’s 6:30 a.m., I’m done running and I want breakfast right now!

This is far from exhaustive, but hopefully a small taste of what the past year has encompassed for us. We head home tomorrow, ready to take all we’ve seen, heard, tasted and learned and apply it to whatever adventure awaits us next – I’ve got no plans to abandon this blog, so keep on checking back. It won’t be Asia (for now), but I’d like to keep life, and thus this blog, as interesting as possible (let me know if it isn’t)!

Also, the last of our photos have been posted, so make a stop on our Flickr sites!

  I am way past due for a post, but I have an excuse and that excuse is Railay Beach! Between Khao Lak and Phuket, we were pleasantly surprised with how affordable the islands have been despite ... [Continue reading this entry]

...as soon as I finished the last post, it was insisted that we join the shop's owner, his boss and his family for a meal (and a lot more alcohol). We couldn't communicate via words with anyone but him, however ... [Continue reading this entry]

Things move slowly in Laos, and we are following suit! Tomorrow will mark our fifth day in Luang Prabang, and while we'll soon need to tear ourselves away, we really have no desire to.  The bus ride to Laos was slow, ... [Continue reading this entry]

  So, Sapa. Considered the destination of the country, Sapa was more of an overexploited disappointment than anything else, a disturbing trend that we've noticed in all of the "highlights" of Vietnam (ie Hoi An, ... [Continue reading this entry]

Halong Bay began in Hanoi, a city that rivals Phnom Penh in terms of transportation chaos (and more than outdoes it in terms of sketchiness). We'd expected Hanoi to be the more subtle and enjoyable of the two major cities ... [Continue reading this entry]

We're back from Halong Bay and the photos are up - please check out both of our Flickr sites! The written account will follow shortly...

A quick word on the Vinh Moc tunnels, so that there is some background for the photos that I posted. Dong Ha is a small town that is the ... [Continue reading this entry]

  ...and honeymoon capital of Vietnam. That is Dalat's claim to fame, and it's easy to see why! The place is beautiful and can really only be described as romantic; as I said before, I immediately ... [Continue reading this entry]