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Roadies’ 1st Blog

Saturday, September 17th, 2005

When you travel in the road..the supposed long drive ones ,
you are tired although you havenot driven a single km( how can you drive
you dont know how to drive?), the whole back seat of the car is at your
disposal, you just have to relax and see what you can see through the
windows nd watch what your friends mite be talking, if not talking you may
listen to the buzzing sound of the engines.You gaze thru’ the windows the
glass has been put up to avoid too much of wind and dust , its not that the
scenery is a spectacular, but still you keep on looking through the window
you watch …you observe the nearby stones boulders on the side of the road
passing away quickly and then teh far way trees passing a bit slowly but
still passing. They wont let you concentrate on any of the tree or any of
the stones. You look at them and talk loudly with the friends who are
sitting in the front sit.Well i talk less. I was thinking how this stones
and trees that are passing by us quickly like time. Time also
passes quickly and you don’t know you have left so many years at the back
and you have all those memories along with you and a different worl in
front of you. You have suddenly grown up. The only difference between those
stones and teh time is you are looking at the stone and realising that they
are passing away but you you never know when time passes. Suddenly like a
ungly shock you are made to stand in front of the reality that you have
grown up. You dont have to think about playtime in the afternoon, you wont
get scolded for not doing homework , you dont have to steal oranges from
kitchen and overeat. You have grown up! This time i was travelling from
Bangalore to Hyderabad. I was just laying at the back seat. One guy was
getting transferred from bangalore to Hyderabad. He was carrying his
mattress in the car. Together with some effort we managed to put the
mattress in the backseat and made it a comfortable bed. So i was travelling
like this sometimes listening to what my friends were talking sometimes
gazing out side just lying quite tired and exhausted but still going on.
You keep on going but you don’t know where do you have to stop.From inside
you are restless just like the car which was moving fast and lots of dirt
particles and insects hit the windscreen. Thisis almost as same as
travelling in the sea in teh ship in the deck with you facing sea and
standing there listening to teh sound of waves.The sea water occassaionaly
at regular intervals splashes you and your face is moist. You wait for the
next day. You need to move since you cannot stay in one place but you dont
knwo wherte do u have to go. A lump of small ball makes itself feel at the
throat. You feel something would probably burst out of your tears. You
think about people close to you you could feel that even if you are not
talking they are also silent and yet feeling teh same. Somehow you feel you
all are connected. YTou dont have to call them and say i miss you. You just
know they exist and you exist and you are connected. Then you think of all
the artists and feel that something creative withot pain is impossible. You
have to fel the pain , teh pain would be musch more powerful if you don’t
know whats is teh source of it. You have to bear with it. You cannot solve
it. It would come to you just like a black cloud and they would cover your
mind just like a cloud overcats the nlue sky and suddenly the sunny day
becomes a dark one.If you bear with it for some time you feel thats its
like a hangover which you dont want to get rid of . Just lie down ina dark
room and listen to some music. Only one group of music you wud like
Keep on guessing! You wont feel like meeting anyone you wont
even go to smoke.
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After around six months in London., I am missing all the heat sweat . dust and the wildness of the road….I am missing tha road side dhabas( food stalls along the highway) . here every thing is organised, planned. If I don’t plan i cannot get into train or bus or tickets price would be too costly. So still struggling around to mix with the culture , the people but haven’t made any progress on this. May be I would start travelling alone here at london and UK. Some small trips I have made but they were much more organised planned with bus tickets advanced room booked at BB’s ( where ever i didn’t book someone had an opportunity to claim his stake on my pounds). So what next ?