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In Loving Memory….

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

pisces-flower-72.jpg

A friend that I hadn’t known for a long time, passed away from a rare form of cancer over the weekend.

His father had called me the day before he passed and asked me about chinese doctors in Gainesville. He said he is getting weaker. It didn’t sound good and for the first time since I met B, it occurred to me that he may not live very long.

I’m shocked and sad and relieved knowing that he’s in a much better place. I also wondered about his passing and where the spirit is. I wonder if his family can be comforted in peace that he is free from that diseased-ridden body. He was only 20 and had cancer since he was 9, it went into remission, but came back.

For a young guy to be bed-ridden for what has been the last few months of his life, he was upbeat, positive and sociable. He was a bright kid, had a great sense of humor and we could talk about the most intellectual things and switch to the most mundane base humor. He was a cool kid.

His mother was his nurse, taking care of him 24 hours a day and she was also taking care of her family as well. I pray for her to see the hope in all of this and in her son, that physically she may not be with him, and that beyond this realm we all accustomed to, is something beyond our understanding…that he is no longer he, and that spirit we all loved is now everywhere, free, and she can commune with him all the time.

I am proud and grateful that I had the time with him. Much love B!

writing class…

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Yes, to get me back into writing, which I haven’t done because I let myself be distracted by a lover.  How that happens sometimes…I get distracted because I’m so in the moment whether I’m with a lover or not, when things are soaring, I don’t bother writing it down…and plus the reason I haven’t been writing on my blog for the past few months, is because I didn’t want to publicize my struggles, my ups and downs, it took too much energy to write them down after I had processed everything.  I didn’t know why I wanted to be so narcissistic that anyone would care to read anything I had to say about my own issues, and why would I want to bare it all on a blog, when I could just keep a journal of my joys and the places where I temporarily forgot where joy was.

Here’s an excerpt from my home work assignment….

I remember smelling him as I walked by a perfume counter in Macy’s a long time ago.  The scent was overwhelming, it stopped me dead in my tracks and transported me back to that summer in Italy, in Florida, in Mexico….I had forgotten him, completely, it had been three years.  I stopped, looking for the bottle to see which scent it was, and now the name of the cologne escapes me.  But it doesn’t matter, because it immediately brought me back to how I felt about him, who he was and who I was only three short years ago.

 

It was intoxicating, I couldn’t inhale enough, I don’t know why it smelled so good, but each whiff I took in, it flooded my body with sensations that I had only with him.  All the good, the not so good, everything it all felt and smelled so good, our affair seemed so tangible.  He didn’t even wear that cologne, he wore a commercialized body spray that was based on that scent.  

——-

The memoir writing class will help me re-focus my goals and hopefully give me tools to help me continue no matter the distractions and take it more seriously, the writing and not the distraction.

Sick in the Gatornation?

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007

Yes strange as it may seem, getting a flu is not only relegated to foreign third-world countries, it also happens right in your backyard, in the non-polluted, self-touted, tree city of Gainesville, Florida.

Well, it’s been one week since ... [Continue reading this entry]

NYE Tallahassee style

Sunday, December 31st, 2006
Help, if there is anyone in Tallahassee right now, and knows of some good tunes to dance to, as in some great deep house music, please LET A SISTAH KNOW. My brother wants to watch something about a wolf, a depressing, post-apolyptic french film.  Fine, ... [Continue reading this entry]

Some changes….

Saturday, November 18th, 2006
Well, things have changed....it's been a minute, right now I'm back in the States, Florida to be exact. I have ended my relationship with Himalayan Healers due to some major life changes. I have experienced a complete alignment with myself, some amazing ... [Continue reading this entry]