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Rocky Road

We experienced an incident last month. It was a breakdown in communication, dropping the ball on our part and mutiny. It almost resulted into terminating the program at least with this batch of students and starting over, recruiting new people. We did however terminate one of our teachers.More...

We finally started the anatomy and yoga classes, the flat we rented was finally available, cleaned, painted and ready to go. So, one Tuesday afternoon, when Rob and I were still in the area, we went to go pay the anatomy teacher the first month’s salary. He informed us that he would be out of town Thursday and would like to trade and teach anatomy Friday morning and have the yoga Thursday morning.

We have anatomy and physiology three days a week in the afternoon, from 2-4, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. We had to do it in the afternoon, because the anatomy teacher could only do it in the afternoon. Otherwise we’d have it in the morning at 7 a.m. Monday, Wednesday and Friday we have yoga in the morning at 7:30-9:00 a.m.

Well there was a scheduling problem, and the yoga teacher could only come in on that schedule and wouldn’t be able to teach Thursday morning. So I suggested he teach Friday afternoon or Thursday morning.

He didn’t tell me until after a few minutes that he was going out of town and couldn’t teach at all Thursday. Somehow in the long discussion, between talking to him and then talking to the flat owner, to pay her the first month’s rent, a lot of confusion took place. While we were talking to the flat owner, the teacher and one of the students were having a long discussion about when to have class among other things, I can only speculate.

We discussed with the teacher, why he couldn’t switch with the yoga teacher for the morning, and to come in the afternoon Friday. So, somehow, I didn’t understand that he agreed to come Friday afternoon.

So, Thursday comes around and the students ask if there is anatomy class that day and I say no and I still haven’t heard from the teacher about Friday.

So, on my part I dropped the ball on that one, because I didn’t think about it, didn’t make a note of it, to call and confirm. Though Rob kept saying, he was teaching Friday afternoon.

Well, during that week, we finally got some rain, where it rained continuously for almost 24 hours. I should’ve heeded that sign of a a fresh start, or a foreboding, or that something needed to be cleaned. That Friday, I called the anatomy teacher during massage class, and asked if he was coming at 2 pm to teach and he said yes, please tell the students I am coming. So, I went into the beauty salon, and informed them while they were doing pedicures, that there was anatomy class at 2 pm.

They looked at me and nodded and continued working. Class was great, they were so into the training that no one realized it was 1:15 or 1:20 and the only reason I knew was because Rob called me and I looked at the clock and saw how late it was. So I went into all the treatment rooms to tell them what the time was and to go get lunch so they wouldn’t be late for anatomy class. So, they all finish up, wash their hands and change into non-massage wear. Then, one of the students comes up to me and asks if they can cancel the class because they do not have enough time to get something to eat, by this time it was 1:30 and they have been there since the morning (yoga) and were tired.

I said 30 minutes is enough time to grab something quick and to go to class that he was on the way and I couldn’t cancel it.

So, they all come over, after he tells them that, and they are complaining about not having enough time this and that. And Bhuwan says you knew there was class in the afternoon, and they replied we didn’t know, it was never confirmed.

They are all complaining, and start getting upset. Bhuwan tells them to just go to class, and get something to eat.

I knew something was up, I could feel that something was going to go down. So I stuck around. I could hear the students debating down stairs in front of the building and looked through the window. So I went down there and asked what the problem was, and the same guy that stayed after class to have a discussion with the anatomy teacher Tuesday was telling me that they were tired. I looked at all of them and said, “Look, I know you are not used to attending these classes because for a month because the flat wasn’t ready and you are only used to three hours of class time. You can bring the food in the flat, if you want to, and it’s just this one time I asking you to stay longer.”

So our lone female student was saying something I couldn’t understand because I don’t speak Nepali as I was telling him and the others this, and I could tell that he didn’t agree with me, and the students didn’t want to go, and he didn’t know how to handle the situation.

I waited around, went to the flat, opened it and waited for them to come. I was there for 30 minutes, talking to the little girl in the little Nepali I know that lives in the building. I left because I could see that they weren’t coming, and I had no idea what time it was or how long I was waiting until I went back to Tranquility.

Well, what happened was really un-cool, a total disregard for our policy, the teacher, for our whole program. The students unanimously decided that they weren’t going to class so they called up the teacher and told him not come because they were too tired, according to the anatomy teacher. So he didn’t come, and they did their own thing.

Well, I thought, since when do they have this authorization to do this? Saturday is a holiday and Sunday starts the work week. I was not infuriated however, I was pissed, and felt like the best thing to do is to release them from the training and start over, I had no qualms about that because the students had sent a stern message of anti-trust and anti-work ethics. If we find jobs for them abroad, and they feel like they don’t want to re-pay the loan, then it’s a big risk and this stunt is a big sign that it would happen and it’s too risky to do it with this bunch.
I spoke to Rob about what happened and I called the anatomy teacher to find out who made the call and what they told him. And Rob asked me if I was ready to fire them and start another new training and I said, yes. We talked about it, figuring out what would we do. We couldn’t just let it go with a stern lecture about why this was not the choice to make. It would just let them know we are not going to enforce anything we say, especially a loan, and that we are push-overs.

So, we decided to ask for a down payment of Rs.7000 and then in the next two weeks Rs.7000 more.

We walked into class that following Sunday, told Hem our plan, and called in the students and had a nice, loving chat. I do not believe in disrespecting people, berating them in any way, so we had a discussion about what went down last Friday and when they took over the program. Rob explained to them that we couldn’t trust them, and that they showed a poor work ethic, if they can only work three hours a day (as this was their excuse) how can they work 10-12 hours in a spa, because they will be worked that in an Asian or Middle-Eastern spa. And if we can’t trust them to follow simple directions and they go behind our back and pull stunts like this, how can we trust them to go abroad, repay the loan and represent us, Nepal and themselves?

We told the anatomy and physiology teacher to return the money and materials we gave him to use to teach the class. We cannot have someone who will follow directions from students and not let us know what is going on. This is also mismanagement on our part, we need to let any future people that work for us, know that anything that needs to be changed to come to us, first, and that teachers are in charge of the class. Another lesson learned. We just figured since we were paying someone, that anything kooky like students wanting to cancel class, would be something that the teacher would immediately notify us of the discretion.

And, only four people attended yoga class Friday, which means, the beautiful excuse of everyone being tired was a lie. We heard all the bargaining and excuses, one after another. We asked them, since they have now taken over the program, what should we do? Should we continue training how do we know this won’t happen again? They promised they would never do it again, and they made a mistake and they apologized. And they started appealing to Rob. So I just cut that short and said, well, we have a solution. Because this action shows that you as a whole do not value this opportunity of not having to pay for this training, we need to know that you do value it, that you are not just taking advantage of us.

I reminded them that some of them stay after class to learn and that Tranquility school doesn’t charge us for that, they do it because they want to help you learn. And one of the students, stayed there until 6 pm that day Friday, but he was too tired to got to anatomy class? Ya see, it’s not that they couldn’t adjust to something new, it’s that they didn’t care and were lazy.

We told them that they were doing really good, they were starting to understand what massage is all about.. We reminded them that they are good students, really wanting to learn, but we didn’t understand why they took this particular action. I told them they do not have the authority to call a teacher that we are paying for and decide they simply do not feel like having anatomy and physiology class and tell him not to come.

I said, it would’ve been fine if none of you showed-up to class, you would’ve made up those hours, but you crossed the line when you called our employee and told him what to do.

Once I stated that if they want to continue this training, they need to bring the Rs.7000 tomorrow, we will have contracts for them and then they can pay another Rs.7000 in two weeks, that it will be Rs.14,000 every month until training is finished.

Well it didn’t go over well, they pleaded with Rob, he started to feel bad and then it just went downhill from there. They pleaded and said we are all poor.

This word poor, people throw it around like a used rag. Some of them have mobile phones, we do not. Some of their families own a gold jewelry store. But still, we allowed them in the training without paying anything, believing that they have an interest in healing work and going on the faith that they would re-pay the loan in order to continue with future trainings and plans.

And some are very poor, one time one of the students asked Rob for a loan just so he could pay the Rs.20 roundtrip from home to school. That’s how economically deficient he is. Rob didn’t give him the loan.

Then I said, come back tomorrow, this is the only way we know you value this training because Friday’s action says to us that you don’t. Then, one of the students said we promised it would be free and now it’s changed that how could they, the students trust us….and we said, yes it’s changing because you have changed, you have demonstrated that we cannot trust you that you will just make decisions where you have no authority to, and therefore we cannot recommend you for work abroad or even in Nepal with this type of attitude. This will not be tolerated.

Suddenly as it started to calm down, there was an outburst, from the guy who had the outburst with me a couple of weeks before. He started saying, that he though our organization was dishonest, and he and Rob started going back and forth. Rob told him to leave if he felt that way, and then the student said something smart to him, that Nepal was his country and he could leave when he wanted to and that Rob was American and that he should leave. And it continued going back and forth with Rob getting really pissed off, and telling everyone to go. Rob no longer felt sorry for the students, no longer was he willing to take back what we agreed upon, he had it. His soft spot was able to see with new eyes, that the truth was being revealed about these students. And the student got up and left, trying to take his compradre with him, (they both entered this program together) and when the other guy (whom we already gave a warning to) didn’t get up and go with him, he dismissed him and walked into the changing room and tried to destroy property. Next thing I know, Hem runs into the room and two of the students had to hold him back from hitting the disgruntled kid. So I rush into the room and tell Disgruntledness to try to leave on a good note. He was so upset, just full of rage, he slammed the door in my face.

Good riddance, kid. Good riddance. Rob was really upset, and the other students were trying to console Rob, and he started to cry, and then two of the students started to cry, one on my shoulder…telling me that he quit his job to be there, and I told him I know he did and that he is a good therapist, and he just sobbed. He began to tear up when we started talking to them earlier that morning. So I told Rob that we need to go, and some of them followed us downstairs, and I told the guy(who I was consoling, and the same guy who stays after almost every day at the school, and stayed after that fateful Friday) to come back tomorrow we will talk.

At that point, I figured only 3 or 4 people would come. No, when I came back the next day, everyone was there, except for the outburst guy. And Rob didn’t come with me, so I sat down, for three hours, talking to each person, individually.

Rob and I agreed to just ask for Rs.7000, and they could make payments until the training was finished. And each one, said the same thing, how can I pay for it, and I said, that’s your choice of how, that I only provide training and a job. I told them it’s the only way I know that they will have a value for this training. And I reminded some of them that they were there until 6 pm Friday, and the reason why they decided to cancel the class was unacceptable.

I also addressed to each student this ‘one for all’ attitude, and that in the future, that you have to stand alone, in your decision, and do what you feel in your heart, not what someone else tells you to do. Nepali’s are very much into the group mentality, it’s ingrained, from the traditional joined family to packs of guys walking round Kathmandu trying to raise a little hell.

I spoke to each student about how the country is already in chaos, and we, all of us, have to deal with it, between strikes called by political parties or Maoists, a depleting job market, low wages, holidays, and curfews, oh my!, that students calling a bandh, or shutdown, undermines our whole program. That we cannot have this chaos in the school, we do not need any more disruptions than what we are already dealing with, hoina?

I started getting a scratchy throat mid-way through these 1-on-1 conferences, and just the week before I had the flu. It was also Holi (the day that good overcame evil) which was on a Tuesday. So in the middle of that crazy week, was a holiday. Sunday we had the group discussion, Monday I had my summit with each student and Tuesday, I noticed the sniffles, which lasted up until a couple of days ago.

Well, everything is set, they know what the deal is, and did we learn some major lessons. We will collect a monthly payment during training, (and for every session we have) the amount will be based on an individual basis, as some are not at an economical disadvantage, just because they are from the Dalit community.

We also learned not to procrastinate with having contracts, we had it in the beginning and we just neglected to bring them to class, then once the training started going, it never entered our minds again.

Now we know, we all know. Once this training is over, we will all have accomplished so much, I am truly grateful for this experience. It is really amazing.



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