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It’s yer bandth day….

Go ‘head, go ‘head, it’s a bandh-day it’s a bandh day!


Well, here we are another four day bandh called by the SPA, which of course means, Seven Parties Association, as in the seven political groups of Nepal.  Whenever I read these headlines, in the English newspapers, I think oh, is there a new spa?  And then I read it, and find out it’s something completely different. It’s only in the past week to two weeks that the media or the political parties gave themselves this name.  There are many acronyms and it’s hard to keep up with all of them. 
 

But on to other things, this mandatory day off allows me to catch everyone up on the latest and greatest in the on-going saga of building a project, teaching massage therapy, managing a personal life, and managing life in the big dusty, dirty city.
 

Well, this past week was another nice milestone, or as Rob likes to say a ‘beautiful’ milestone.  Rob came up with the idea, a novel one I might add, to get people to volunteer their bodies for the sake of giving one student a chance to practice massage on their during class time.  He is a regular at this place, called Lazimpat Gallery Café, some of you might remember we premiered the documentary film, Indigo Evolution. 
 

So Rob put up a sign-up sheet for every Sunday, for six lucky people to donate their bodies and their time to let one of our students give them a massage.  We came about this because we only have 1 female student, who herself is uncomfortable with receiving a massage from anyone (I have asked her if she wanted me to work on her, so she could receive the benefits of a relaxing massage, and she always refuses), and I noticed that the male students have become lackadaisical while giving massages to one another because of their bond.  They don’t use professional language, or leave the room when they change, they talk to each other like brother’s, rude and informal.
 

Even though I told them a couple of weeks ago, that when they are giving the massage to treat the person receiving like a guest, not like a pal, I see that it has fallen on deaf ears.  I don’t understand, it’s a level of maturity, when a bunch of Nepali guys are around, just goofing off or ragging on each other if someone makes a mistake.
 

They need to start getting used to working on members of the opposite sex.  I do not particularly like the draping method Tranquility teaches, and the sheets Tranquility has are not long enough.  I have smoothed out some of the draping techniques, because they, choppy way of draping, and this business of tucking the sheet’s in the clients underwear, I just don’t know what to make of it.  They worked (Hem and Bhuwan) trained people at the Hyatt’s spa and Le Meridian’s Spa and obviously the guests have never complained or they wouldn’t do it that way. I asked Hem, what happens when the guest is not wearing underwear, where do they tuck it into? 
 

I am careful not to be the all-knowing pain-in-the-ass, and give other options for doing things.  And guests, unless they are really pissed off, will not tell the staff or manager about any discomfort during a massage, because either they feel like it’s a normal thing and need to accept it, or they are uncomfortable with complaining because they enjoyed the massage and do not want to give out a negative vibe.
It’s a strange how that works.  Because it’s such a unique experience that is tailored and person-specific, it’s all relative.  So even we, therapist’s sometimes do not know we are making a mistake if we don’t get attention for it.
 

The way they usually drape is lifting the whole sheet up, while the client flips to lie facing up.  The therapist is behind the sheet and holding it up over the therapist’s face, so the client is secure knowing they are in privacy, even though the sheet is off of them.
 

I’ve also taught them the tented technique, and the ¼ lifting at the person’s head and shoulder at an angle (the way I do it).  I just lift up the sheet over the client’s upper chest and head, giving them enough room, as I stand behind the sheet, it’s very private.  Although a couple of times, women have grabbed the sheet pulling it down and I’ve assured them that they are completely covered. But I suppose from that angle if she can see me I surely can see her bosom. Which I cannot, I only see a sheet.
 

That’s a whole lot of technical stuff that I diverted into.
 

The purpose of  having people sign up to get a free massage is to give the students a chance to work on different bodies, specifically females and practice their professionalism. We also get great feedback from our volunteers and it’s a great word-of-mouth marketing tool as well, ;).
 

We had five people come in this past Sunday, four were from the café, they signed up and the other one was a new friend we met recently.  Needless to say, when I told our students that we had some guests coming in, so they could practice on different bodies, and that they were female, they were a little nervous.  I told them why we asked them to come in, (the reason I mentioned above) and one guy in particular was a little uneasy.  I picked three guys and told our female student that I picked them because they have not worked on females. 
 

I heard a comment made a while back by a male student, he said they shouldn’t work on females.  Even though we have said this many times, that in an international work setting, which hopefully they will be working in, that males work on females and mostly women  receive treatments. But this concept doesn’t sink in because it’s like a fourth dimension. 
 

See, in Nepal, it’s the same gender working on each other.  I know that Tranquility will honor a request if the guest requests a gender that is opposite of the guest.  I don’t know about other countries but it’s a cultural thing, because only your husband or wife will see each other naked, or your mammy when she changed your diapers. The other important reason is because there are many prostitution places fronting as spas or massage healing centers, most of them are in Thamel, the tourist area of the city.
 

We were expecting five female volunteers. Three came in at 10 a.m., the other one at 11:30 am and a new friend Rob and I met, was also coming in after 10 a.m.  Out of the five women, two were from South-East Asia, and the rest were western women.  Because of the size of the Tranquility’s place, we can only accommodate four body massage treatments. So these three volunteer guests and one paying guest, took up all the available tables. Our one volunteer showed up 15 minutes before  the time she scheduled.
 

 Since she had a time limit, and there were no available rooms, I offered her a hand and foot reflexology.  I would’ve preferred her receiving an oil massage, so that they get used to speaking in English, draping women, handling guests, etc. We took her in to the beauty salon where they put two new tables in, and she received her reflexology from a male student.
 

All of the ladies really loved the massage, they were really impressed with the student’s technique and their professionalism.  They felt really comfortable, they all felt they had great healing touches!  You could see it in their faces, genuinely at peace!
 

There were some things that need changing, and it’s good that we are doing this, before opening the student massage clinic/center.  I don’t know why we call it a clinic.  You can’t say parlor.. 
 

The instructions were a little hard to understand, all of them speak English, except for one, who is learning on his own.  But because the students were nervous, and shy, asking “to turn over on to your back, please lie on your stomach,” etc., were either inaudible or jumbled English.  Also, and I guess it must’ve been taught when I was sick (I had the flu  and didn’t come in to work for a week last month) they learned an additional technique for giving instructions to the guest once they enter the room.
 

In my experience, for reasons of privacy and personal security/comfort the therapist instruct the guest/client to lie on the table either on the stomach on or on the back, between the sheets, and then the therapist goes outside of the treatment room, and waits for as long as it takes for the guest to get on the table, then the therapist knocks on the door, and starts the treatment.
 

Oh and I also explained to our volunteer guests that these massages, since it is part of class time, will be supervised by an instructor and I will come in and out of each room also supervising at times.
 

So, what our female volunteers told us, the ones who got the Swedish massage, said that the students were in the room when they got on the table. And it seemed like a complicated process unfolded.  They were told to lie on the table, on their stomach, and loosen their robes and take their arms out of the robes and leave it on top of their body, and the sheet, which was folded at the end of the massage table, was then pulled over the body as the student therapist took the robe off.  I hope that explains it well.  See, theoretically, doing this, the body is never exposed because the sheet is covering up at the same time the robe is being lifted off the guest. 
 

So, that was a little awkward for the volunteer guests, and one of the students started actually untying her belt on the robe.  And she told him she couldn’t handle it, and then he helped her take her robe off, as he held it up over his face and instructed her to lie on the table.  Now at this point, I don’t know if the sheet was folded at the end of the table or if she was instructed to get in between the sheet and she pulls it over. But it sounded like she was not covered, and he covered her.
 

The thing is he doesn’t know and to him, he’s just doing what he was taught.  When I went into the treatment room….
 

***SIDE NOTE***AGAIN
The way Tranquility set-up their place, and remember they also train people and give professional treatments, they put in walls, so the room is split into four separate rooms, by wooden walls, with separate entrances. I hope that’s not redundant.  So it’s a bit difficult for me to observe, because I have to go into each room to see what the students are doing.  One open room, where the instructor can easily glance around the room and see each student is traditionally the way massage class is taught. 
 

Tranquility has two main instructors (not including me) and 4-5 assistant instructors, who are trained in massage and beauty salon treatments by them.  So, they are in the rooms at all times. 
The students are micromanaged, so any little thing that isn’t done right, is spotted right away, and corrected.  It seems like it can be a little unnerving if you are a student and cannot get into your flow because someone is watching your every move. 
I remind the students that it is important to learn the techniques (each massage Tranquility teaches has a completely different technique) and then once you learn the techniques, you will with experience, develop your own style and it won’t feel so regimented.  I tell them that maybe some of these techniques they might never use, or maybe they may have a favorite move, we encourage that, Bhuwan and Hem (the main teachers and owners) said that in the beginning, that they will develop their own style.
**END SIDE NOTE**
 

So when I entered the training area, and I saw the assistants standing outside the treatment rooms, and no student therapist, I was really confused and a bit horrified.  When one of the trainers opened the door then closed it I asked what was going on, and she said they were still getting on the table, and I’m thinking WHAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!????? Why is he(student) in the room when she (volunteer) is getting on the table????
 

So, after talking to Hem about when that method was taught, obviously during the time I was sick, because when we first start the oil massages, with rejuvenation massage, we wrote up a script, of what to say to the guest, instructions for when entering the room, turning them over, draping, and transitioning at the end.
 

And then, the stomach massage. Now remember, they are used to working on each other, and they’ve never worked on a female.  So, before they started the massage, one guy asked me about what to do about working on the stomach.  I told him, “Remember, I showed you how to massage a female’s upper part of the chest, the pecs” and I demonstrated on myself as we stood in the hall way, “You can massage the stomach without oil, you do it over the sheet.”
 

And I figured that the rest, would be a cinch (I haven’t used that word since Florida, circa 1998?) since the trainers would be in the room. Well, even though I got verbal feedback, and then they put additional comments on paper for me, I felt there was still something missing.  Since it was a girl’s day out for them, they each got their hair trimmed in the salon and I chatted with them because one of them works at the Lazimpat Gallery Café, so I knew her.  Somehow I started talking about draping, or breast massage and then they remembered something very important: that when the student therapist went to massage their stomach, they simply pulled the sheet down, and were exposed, bare-breasted and c-c-cold.
 

And I was like oh, man, smacking my hand on my forehead. And I told them “Well, this is why we needed women to get treatments from our male students.” But what I don’t understand is why the trainer who was in the room, didn’t stop them or say anything.
 

The one woman in that trio told me it was her first time getting a massage so she thought it was normal to be bare-breasted, even though she was uncomfortable. She kept telling herself, okay, it’s just like being at the beach in France, topless no big deal. And I said, no, it’s not right, if you had to say that to yourself, it means you are uncomfortable.  I apologized and we all laughed about it and I told myself, this mistake will not EVER be made again.
 

See, it’s difficult to make the students understand, except for our female, about these things since they’ve never experienced it because they only work on each other (males.)   I spoke to one of the trainer’s about that, and she said, they did give instruction on draping female’s breasts. Well, it must’ve been a month ago, because they forgot.
 

Working with the staff. 
I am learning, and learning and learning.  So next time we do this, have volunteers come in during class time to receive free student massage, I will tell the staff, that it’s class time, and while the student has to be professional and formal, the staff is there to guide the student, and to prompt the student if they forget a step in greeting, instructions, massage technique, and finishing, and everything in between.
The staff were just doing their job, and treating them like a paying guest, not interrupting, whispering to the student to prompt them and I am mystified as to why our female trainers and we have 4 of them(1 male) did nothing.
 

The other volunteer, the new friend Rob and I met recently, had her student therapist massage her breasts.  She is a Nepali woman, and she told him, if he is supposed to do that, then he should do it.  He was uncomfortable with it, but got over it.  I told him in our discussion the next day it was okay to feel uncomfortable because he has never given a female breast massage before, or worked on a female either.
 

When I spoke to the same instructor (who told me she taught how to cover female breasts) last week, as I was demonstrating other ways to massage the pectorals muscle on men and women, without exposing the body, she said you must massage the breast and she showed them how. She was very strong with her statement, because they do that here in Kathmandu.  I’ve experienced it at a place in Thamel, Real Massage Therapy Point, and my cousin had the same experience as Harmony Spa at Le Meridian Hotel, here in Kathmandu.
 

The female therapists that my cousin and I had (they were different people), did not ask if we wanted our breasts massaged, it was just done.  I anticipated this because she told me about her experience at Harmony Spa. 
 

So, I went over it the next day with the students.  And told them if they are working on females, to ask, because it’s a personal choice and a security/safety issue for females.  Especially, if our male student is working on a female to ask, if not, then cover the breasts and move to the stomach area. And I showed everyone how to drape breasts, using our clothed trainer, and everyone practiced it.  I explained to them, to always ask because most women, will not want their breasts massaged.  I mean, even when most women go to the gynecologist, it’s not a comfortable experience, even when the doctor is a female. 
 

But apart from that, the students were so excited and more confident that they worked on someone different, and female different on top of that.  They were so happy to get feedback, they had the volunteer guests write in their notebooks their massage  experience. And some of them even tipped them! 
 

 



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