Let’s Make This as Painless as Possible for Everyone Involved…
FYI:
When you swan dive into a preemptive midlife crisis, shuck all responsibility and begin planning an undeniably self indulgent trip (“I.E. How Erica ‘Found Herself’ in Timbuktu, Again in Jordan and Amazingly, Yet Again in India. Sigh.”) everyone claims they want to be on your e-mail list.
They throw out the request in bars and church and on street corners when you part, with admirable enthusiasm and good intentions – like rose petals and rice sweetly consecrating your adventure.
Maybe it’s sincere generosity, maybe morbid curiosity. Either way, it’s undoubtedly a concept that is better in theory than in practice.
See, “Add me to your e-mail list” is one of those things you just feel like you should say. Like “I’ll totally come and see the baby as soon as it’s born” or “Let me know if you need any help painting” or “You call day or night – whatever it takes to get you through this break-up!”
But then one day — when your taxes are due in two hours and twelve minutes, or your son won’t stop performing disturbingly heartfelt renditions of the hits of “Rent”, or your girlfriend mentions for the fourteenth time how funny that new guy in the office is – my sunshiny, philosophical dispatches from the road are going to push you over the edge.
And there I will be — halfway through my trip, nursing a bad case of typhoid and homesickness in some cyber café/massage parlor in Kampala. Logging on to find my hotmail account bloated with bitter “unsubscribe” notices from my acquaintances and ADD friends who thought “You’d better add me to your e-mail list!” was just an expression.
So in everyone’s best interest, I up and made myself a blog. That’s right my friends – I’ve joined the technologeneration. I’m practically Bill Gates.
My periodic reports are sure to feature sanctimonious observations and dramatic metamorphoses that will trigger sprain inducing eye rolls. Seriously folks – we’re talking uninformed commentary on international politics, selective outrage at human rights violations, increasingly less-subtle condemnation of “bourgeois Americans,” Pollyanaesque descriptions of the world’s natural wonders….
And no one deserves to have that much self indulgent drama thrown on them unexpectedly.
You need to prepare. Pray for patience, numb yourself with a stiff shot of something cloudy and old, send the kids to bed. And when you’re fully braced for melodrama, visit the blog. I’ll try to update every couple of weeks or so, depending on internet access (ok, depending on the ebbs and flows of my laziness).
And now, to the point (SEE, I told you there’d be rambling! But now I don’t have to feel guilty, because you chose to come and read this. Sucker.) :
I fly out of Minneapolis next Wednesday, December 28th. The first leg of the trip is what I like to call “Soaking up last bits of luxury about which I will dream when I have bed bugs and am subsisting on flat bread and iodine laced water. Mmmmmmm.”
The plan is to split a week and a half between Paris and Venice and then meet up with my best friend to conquer Spain and Morocco for the next three or four weeks.
After Christine leaves me to my own slip shod devices and poor judgment in Morocco, the loose itinerary is West Africa in February, East Africa in March and on up to Egypt and the Middle East after that.
I hope to make it over to India and Nepal around June — barring being sold into white slavery or detained in a Pakistani penal colony.
Though if either of those unexpected adventures crops up, I’ll be sure to add you to my e-mail list!
Tags: Getting Started..., Travel
December 21st, 2005 at 6:43 am
Thought i’ll give u some “tips” about travelling in India. As u might already know a lot from other travel blogs, India is dirty and full of cheats. Cheats apart, there will be loads of Indian men waiting for a chance to throw themselves on u, literally. They just bump into your chest or try grabbing your butt in some crowded streets. So, avoid going alone in crowded streets. Better, wear a chest vest made of iron, so when they bump “into you” , they’ll realize u are the “iron lady” and will never try to bother u again. I hope u r getting what iam trying to say. I would advise u to travel with some fellow American or some other foreigner(must be a MALE). That will kinda intimidate them to try anything nasty.
Good luck and BON voyage!
bye,
An Indian women living in the USA.
December 22nd, 2005 at 7:40 pm
Certainly caught my eye.
I might just follow you along on your trip - Have a GREAT ONE!
Someone you’ve never met,
Travis
December 22nd, 2005 at 7:42 pm
I meant to say, “Now THAT’S a funny blog title” with regard to what caught my eye. Now I’m making nonsense, right from the get go. Sorry!
December 25th, 2005 at 10:13 pm
As for me - I actually LIKE “sanctimonious observations and dramatic metamorphoses”.
Especially when I’m sufficiently braced with something old and cloudy!!
“Uninformed commentary on international politics, selective outrage at human rights violations, increasingly less-subtle condemnation of “bourgeois Americans,” Pollyanaesque descriptions of the world’s natural wonders” - what could be better??
Have a great time lady - and hurry back. MN’s more fun with you in it.
December 26th, 2005 at 9:23 am
I am so excited for you. This is the dream of a lifetime for most; merely another chapter in the life of sweet Erica! Keep on trekking, girlie, keep on trekking! I will savor it vicariously! I am enjoying life as though I too were twenty something-thanks to my beautiful, fearless and adventuresome nieces. Thank you for that gift!
December 27th, 2005 at 8:03 pm
I believe the only “old and cloudy” thing I know is me! (mom)
Since you rejected our offer of a small computer chip/tracking device, I guess the blog will have to suffice.
Actually there have been too many amazing things that have confirmed that this is a “meant to be” trip, not the least of which has been the peace we feel about it-(well most of the time I do–Mom)
We love you and will miss you like crazy, but know you are living your dream and are in good hands wherever you choose to be. Hurry back!
December 28th, 2005 at 7:00 am
We’ll be very interested to hear about your trip down and around Africa … when you get that far. In the mean time we’ll try to keep track of your blog.
December 28th, 2005 at 9:15 am
I love the blog idea! This will no doubt be an awesome trip.
I have always said that my time in the Peace Corps was the best training for working at the legislature. It probably works in reverse as well, so you are well prepared for whatever may come your way on this adventure.
Best of luck….
December 29th, 2005 at 8:15 pm
Let’s see, I join the Navy, get sent to Italy for two years, yet somehow I’m still outdone by you and your Jules Verne adventure. I can’t emphasize how excited I am for you. Again, you’re my hero. Take care, good luck, stay healthy, and most importantly, have fun!
January 2nd, 2006 at 10:13 pm
I know I sent you an e-mail but thought it might be a nice surprise to get a little note on here too. Hope you are out there having fun already. Miss you and Take Care.
January 3rd, 2006 at 12:21 pm
Aunt Marsha sent me the link to your blog, and I am just THRILLED for you– and can’t wait to read all about your amazing adventures. You are such a super star!!!!!! I will be thinking of you constantly….
Cousin Megan
January 4th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
We always heard it was the guys in Italy that were ” Grabbers”
Use the old knee trick and leave them groaning & moaning.
For all others leave them one of your beautiful smiles!!
Waiting [impatiently] for another email. Loved the one about Paris! Wish I was with you!!
Love & Big Hugs
Mam`ma & Pap`pa Brown
January 5th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
Must admit, this is the first blog thingy I have ever used. Its 1640 Eastern time…so that puts you either at some hostel or some club/pub/bar. I hope the latter is the case. Hope all is well and I hope the gloom of europe in January beats that of Minnesota’s. Trust me, the entire two weeks I spent in MN i didnt see the damn sun once. i don’t even know if this is where I am supposed to post messages
Hope your having fun!
January 5th, 2006 at 10:21 pm
hey check your hotmail account, sleezy, i left jennas phone number if you have any questions (besides where babys come from) just send me an email branden_52@hotmail.com and i will check for the next few days in case you need another number or need some other way to contact jenna. see yah.
January 23rd, 2006 at 6:03 pm
Time for an update! I’ve been waiting to hear about your travels of the past few weeks…. and I can hardly stand the wait any longer!!!