The Wobble

I am sat here with a cold bottle of san miguel beer in the heart of manila, the capital of the philippines. When I landed in chiang mai about 10 days ago I had neither thought nor intention of visiting the philippines on this trip, goes to show how things can change so quickly, this is how it happened…

Chiang Mai is the main city in the north of thailand. Its more elevated than the rest of the country so in theory it is alot cooler. Could have fooled me on that first evening, it was unbearably warm and sweaty. The air was really thick and it was pretty tough to breathe. Finding a place to stay was a breeze, the old town which is surrounded by an old defensive moate is awash with accomodation at good prices. For the first day or two I did little but read a book and guzzle a few beers.

On my third day in chiang mai I finally got off my rear end and signed myself up for that thai cooking course I have been threatening to do. The place where I did it was great, there were just two of us students and we had 2 teachers to keep tabs on us. So it was me, two jaw droppingly beautiful thai girls and rather cute japanese chef. Yes, a bloody chef. She had all the complicated, finger tip shaving knife artistry down to a tee. She left me for dead with almost every dish, but I was happy out. No pressure I was free to goof around and basically spent the rest of the day having a laugh with them. I’d highly recommend the course to anyone that visits chiang mai. Baan thai was the name of the company. To begin with they take you to the local market to buy all the stuff you are going to cook with, i love markets so I had a great time. Back to the gaff where we cooked up a storm, for 800 baht you get to eat about 7 meals in the one day. Phil = happy.

Despite the accomplishment of licking 7 plates clean I found myself feeling a little peckish come 7 o’clock at night so I made my way down to the main stretch where the streets are lined with guys throwing together sumptious healthy food that you would collapse over yourself to find if you heard it was available back somewhere in the streets of dublin. I was tucking into a thai green curry when a familiar face walked down the pavement in front of me. The unmistakeable Bobby Mcglynn who I met on the boat to Ko Phan Nang and shared a room with for my first week on the island. I let a roar and we were happily reaquainted. He was booked onto a trekking trip the following day and night so it was 2 days before we properly caught up with each other.

I arranged to meet him in the irish bar in chiang mai, to be honest its the most tenuously linked irish bar in history but it served the purpose nicely. I ordered a bloody awful pint of guinness to mark the occasion and we got chatting. I had been talking to another travel buddy earlier in the day on gmail he was on his way to the philippines having had enough of the circuit here in SEA, so I guess that had planted something in my head. In the course of conversation I suggested that we ditch the tried and trusted laos cambodia vietnam circuit for the meantime and just grab a flight to manilla and seek out hidden treasures around the island of palawan, jaques cousteaux’s favoutite dive spot I have been reliably informed. Within a couple of days we were booked and ready to go.

before we left though we had to give ourselves a proper thai send off. I stayed in my place for the duration while bobby was bobbing from one guest house to another mostly all in the vicinity of Julies guesthouse which is a really nice place to hang out. We really didn’t do a whole lot other than sit around all day, read book and tell stupid stories. Something which we are both adept at, and has won us many friends along the way. At night, oooh at night its a free for all. Initially I was a bit wary of including the next episode in the blogs. Its a little shocking to be honest, but I think that its an inherent part of travelling in this part of the world and that excluding it would only serve to cheapen this account of my travels. what am I talking about? Ladyboys, ladies and gentlemen. Boys who dress up like girls, who augment their bodies to make themselves look like girls yet retain crucial bits that make them boys. Lets cut to the chase, we found ourselves just off chiang mais most famous tourist site, the night market. We had just finished some food and we looking for something to wash it down with. We found ourselves in a big open air space surrounded by lots of bars. In the middle was a thai boxing ring so the attraction of watching some lads pummel the bejaysus out of each other was enough to get us sitting down. The bar we sat at was boring and in our eyeline with the ring we saw a troope of people getting on their feet and performing a laughable version of YMCA. There was no way we were not going to go for a closer look. Twasn’t long before we were getting the welcoming attention of the owner of the bar, Marina. I think she liked me at first but soon swapped her attentions to bobby. We had an absolutely brilliant night, they were hilarious. I know it sounds shocking and is shocking but the key is to not take it too seriously. These are people after all, talking to them you hear tragic stories of how they have augmented their bodies to make money to support their familes back in the remote border villages of north thailand. Some of them refugees from the oppressive sickening regime in neighbouring burma. It should also serve to banish the myth that they try to deceive you into thinking that they are genuine girls, certainly in the ones I have met they were pretty up front as to what they were and you cannot have anything but admiration for that. Before you start worrying we left the bar alone, though bobby is on a promise to marina to return. I think they would have beautiful babies.

That was the undoubted hilight of the week in a bloody brilliant week in chiang mai. We flew to Kualar Lumpur on wednesday where we toured the city with a girl that just fell out of vogue magazine, to say that this girl is beautiful is like saying michaelangelo was handy at painting. At first we thought that she had poor english, but then found out that she used to teach english to kids in thailand, twas just the sheer thickness and speed of our irish accents had the poor girl in a spin. I will return to kualar lumper again so I will talk more about our adventures around there in the next post.

All the best,
Phil

p.s. something tells me its gonna take me a while to live this post down, but people, just think do you want me to write blandly about places being paradise or nice and that everyone is lovely etc etc. I’m afraid the world I am currently having a goo at is just not like that and you know what? thank god for that, cause it makes it a whole lot more interesting….
 

150 years before ayuthaya became the capital of Siam/Thailand, sukhothai was the centre of the thai civilization. Again the bloody Burmese and their conquering dispositions put paid to the town forcing the thais to move further south. I figured it was definitely worth a shout on the way up to chiang mai. 60 miles to the east of sukhothai is the city of Phitsanulok which given that it is on the main bangkok to chiang mai rail and roadway made it the ideal place to base my visit to the old city.

The train ride from the south took 6 hours. It was a day train to the seats were laid out with their backs to the window, the carriage was pretty full and I was the only johnny foreigner in the carriage so all eyes were on me. I don’t mind it to be honest, its different to the attention you get in india where most people have at least some grasp of english. Here you can tell that the people are just itching to ask about you and probably more to tell about themselves but that insurmountable barrier lies at least for the time being between us. The train ride was on culinary level, a blast. Given the layout of the seats, it made for the perfect gangway for the seemingly endless parade of food hawkers. They sold fruit, drinks, meats, breads, sweets and some stuff I couldn’t even begin to describe. One lady who was selling fish decided to take a break in our carriage, right across from me her wares stank to the heavens. Shocking smell, twas bad enough for even the locals to tell her to be on her way.

The food I got myself was pretty tasty, now I am guessing at what it was but it was something like 10 beef sausage balls coated in cabbage with soy sauce and full red chillies to give it that extra little purchase. I sat with great satisfaction the chili sweats for quite some time. You get a good idea of the landscape that makes up central thailand when you travel like this, by day! Something alot of people miss out on when they take the night bus or train up to chang mai. But that said they don’t really miss alot. The land is incredibly flat and and seemingly endless array of rice fields. Its well drained but apart from that there is very little to draw your attention away from the culinary circus.

I eventually arrived into Phitsanulok train station, figured the best place to stay would be the youth hostel. So the routine of getting the rickshaw to drop you out there commences again, this time though my adversaries weren’t mere mortal men I was used to dealing with, these were the most fearsome, the most intimidating of all creatures. Women!! I tried every trick I have picked up to get a better price but they wouldn’t budge. Eventually I conceded and payed the price to be dropped out to the hostel.

The hostel was quite a building, it seems to have been a proper old barn house bar at some stage. Everything was made out of wood and the steps everywhere were uneven and potentially ankle destroying. It had a proper ramshackle, thrown together, patched up vibe about it. The overgrown ivy or Thai equivalent gave it the feeling that it hadn’t been touched in years. I was met my wan, a guy who used to work there and was calling over on a ceile to his old work mates. The lonely planet had described it as the main backpackers haunt but it was missing backpackers, I was the only person to stay there for two nights. When Wan told me I was the only person there I think he detected my disappointment as I was looking forward to some company. He immediately offered to take me out on the town that night, get something to eat and grab a few beers. I was taken aback by such generosity, it was the first time a proper local has been this open.

So into town we went in his ac car (first time in an ac car since, ooooh November). We got something to eat at the towns night market, overlooking the large river that passes through the town. The food was top notch. Afterwards we took a walk around the local markets, snacked away before finding another open air bar overlooking the river where we took in the views and the Liverpool fulham match. Wan is also a liverpool fan so we had plenty to talk about…

The next morning I jumped on the bus out to sukhothai. I rented a bike and took it around the old city. The first thing that distinguishes it from ayuthaya is that it stands totally separately from the new town. Apart from various restoration projects it remains untouched. Surrounded by an old wall the town is pretty big and takes some time to make your way around. The main buildings of interest are religious in theme and separated mostly by little woods and some larger ponds. It is proper picnic territory, a really beautiful setting. The shade of the trees give much respite from the sun.

After a couple of hours I made my way back to Phitsanulok where I met up with Wan again. This time we went for a thai massage. Now banish any lurid images that spring to mind, this parlour was in the basement car park of the local shopping mall. Hardly on a par to the seedy backstreet places you hear about in the nations capital. The massage itself was okay, twas nice but certainly it was no revelation. I took more amusement from the interaction with the masseurs who worked there. Not sure if they get many Irish lads there. They all had a go a massaging my calves (very strong sir) and they found that my hands were very soft. Hardly the most flattering attribute for a grown man descended from the aran islands.

We went for a beer afterwards and we had a very good conversation where I learnt a good deal about what its like to live in town in central thailand. They are very proud of their town and rightfully so, I had a fantastic time in a town that is really beautiful, has a buzzing night life, markets, restaurants and history to booth. Wan was at a loss to explain why no one visits here, people preferring to bypass in a semi slumber on the night time buses up to chiang mai.

I took my own bus to chiang mai the next day - I am really glad I took this little detour.

Adios,

Phil

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