Here at Desa Seni, the focus is on healing, healthy living and spiritual well-being. Below is the Brel take on all this touchy-feely stuff.
In preparation for our week-long yoga retreat in Ubud (very Eat Pray Love), we decided to warm up with a Restorative Yoga class. Note: although the use of the term “restorative” might make you imagine relaxing, gentle stretching, it actually means prolonged periods of intense pain, where each successively more painful pose is held for 4-6 minutes. Our “yoints” still hurt.
Next we decided to have one-on-one “healing consultations”. Pak Sami is a famous Balinese healer, with credentials up the ying yang. And while the spa menu doesn’t claim the process will be relaxing, it also fails to mention that it is essentially an exorcism in which all evil toxins are removed from your body by a series of pokes, pummels, sharp jabs and swift kicks. Okay, maybe not the last one but it sure felt that way.
The procedure starts off with reflexology – an alternative medicine technique where pressure is applied to different parts of the feet to identify problem areas within the body. This should have been our first sign to run – when someone simply presses on your foot and it causes you to scream in pain, it’s a bad sign as to what’s going on in your body.
The next 90 minutes involve the Healer Sadist Exorcist providing a healing massage – causing us unbelievable pain through the use of various torture techniques. Apparently our bodies are trying to communicate something to us –Mel’s body in particular is NOT happy. Additional sessions are recommended for her – though the Healer is confident that he can clear up the remaining medical issues from her surgery in Greece…in about 5 or 6 more sessions. As is she’d let THAT happen again.
At the end, he warned us to expect fever, body aches, projectile vomiting, and 360° head spinning. (Okay, a little literary licence with the last two.) We emerged sore and slightly bruised, but none the worse for wear. Other than the nightmares of course.
Theta Healing is a “meditational process that co-creates physical, psychological and spiritual healing with focused prayer through the Creator. It is a healing technique which involves taking your consciousness to the Creator on the seventh plane through your Crown Chakra.”
WTF does that mean? Exactly the reason we signed up.
The overall idea of theta healing is to change the subconscious thoughts that keep you from living your life to its full potential, using energy transference, visualization, prayer, reiki, muscle testing and a variety of other random techniques.
RF10. On the Japanese scale, no less.
We’re still struggling to find words to describe the experience. That said, it did make for interesting conversation upon reflection. (“You didn’t get pink light? Pink light entered ME. And our dog.” “I didn’t get to choose a happy place…did you get that warm, fuzzy feeling in your left arm?” “Apparently I have healer hands—they were transferring a lot of energy.”) Believe it or not, we’re actually considering trying it again just to see where it goes.
Clearly, we have yet to cross into full New Age hippy-dom, but hey, we’ve only been here for a week.