Bariloche, in northern Patagonia, Argentina, is home to more than 50 artesan chocolate shops and over a dozen microbreweries.

How do you spell Brel heaven? B-A-R-I-L-O-C-H-E.

Set amidst the Andes, Bariloche is also a world-reknowned ski destination. Though it isn´t ski season yet, the mountains are snow-capped and it´s -2 degrees Celsius. We´ve clearly left our bikinis and Havaianas behind, and for the first time in a long time, are longing for Canadian weather. Is the Foggy Dew patio open yet?

Bariloche is a great town with a great vibe, and deserves a much longer visit than we have planned. The chocolate shops provide free samples, the micro-brew is $2, and fondue is served everywhere. We love fondue. And chocolate. And beer, of course.

And for those of you who caught the Homer Simpson quote in this blog´s title, here´s the link to that famous scene where Homer visits the Land of Chocolate…an inspiration to us all…

You know Mel is the one writing this blog when this photo actually makes it onto the site. I just can´t help laughing out loud every time I see it…do I actually date this person?

Of course this photo begs the question…is this the worst photo of Brendan EVER? I´d love to receive your submissions for a future post… pichemelanie@hotmail.com. 

Gaining an understanding of Argentina means more than just hanging out in trendy restaurants and binging on beef and wine in Buenos Aires. (Not that there´s anything wrong with that.)

And so we journeyed to the province of Salta, way up north near the Bolivian border and encountered an Argentina we hadn´t yet seen . We traveled north along an Inca Road to Humahuaca, through Indian villages, andean markets and old-school cemetaries. We went south to Cafayate, and gawked at the colourful rock formations caused by millions of years of erosion. And of course, we visited the wineries and sampled Torrontes, the white wine Cafayate is famous for. Did I mention the llamas? They were everywhere.

Back in Salta, we checked out the world´s best preserved mummy - a child sacrificed to the Apus (sacred mountain gods) in the 15th century. A little freaky, but cool.

We clearly have only just begun to scratch the surface of Argentina. Next stop: Bariloche.

 One would think that being out of the country for 4 months would translate to fewer issues with you, the cable and internet provider from hell. I’m sure you understand our surprise then, to find out that our Rogers woes continue. It seems you have misplaced our PVR and decided to charge $700 to our Visa until WE can prove to you that we returned it. And to add insult to injury, you’ve now decided to send our account to collections for a new, mystery $279 bill you say we haven’t paid – despite the automatic credit card payments you have been taking from us for the last 10 years.  

Rogers, allow us to remind you: we have no house. We have no cable TV or internet. In fact, we don’t even have an address. Enough already! 

And by the way, did you teach your business practices to Primus? If so, you’ll be pleased to know that they too are still looking for our VOIP gateway, which we also returned. Rogers and Primus: you suck.  

P.S. Ted – we know where you live. The UCC boys were the ones throwing all those cigarette butts on your lawn in the late 80’s.

 Wicked.

We are spending the weekend at Sayta (www.sayta.com.ar), an authentic estancia (or dude ranch in North American terms). Sayta is about an hour’s drive from the city of Salta, which itself is a 22-hour bus ride (or 2.5 hour flight in the Brel world), from Buenos Aires. Our estancia is everything we could want and more – gauchos in chaps chewing coca leaves, random chickens and geese running about, legends and myths, a tobacco plantation and a pasture of gorgeous horses. 

Our host, Enrique, is a hard-core gaucho – think Curly but with an incredible positive energy and spirit - the kind of guy who makes you instantly feel like you’ve been friends for years. His hosting style is one Brel can appreciate – bottomless glasses of wine, copious amounts of home-cooked food and a sense of humour second-to-none. Our lunches are cooked on a huge outdoor asado – endless, perfectly grilled meats arrive at our table for what seems like (and probably is) hours. Enrique goes to great effort to make sure we feel we are truly guests in his home. For dinner, we join him in his kitchen. We are served (and sometimes force-fed) beautiful Salteño wines until late into the night. In the afternoons, we join Enrique and his friends for mate. 

Riding is obviously a big part of staying at Sayta – there are morning and afternoon rides, through trails, up streams or into the mountains. Our delicate bottoms, too accustomed to our recent life of leisure, protest after every ride. 

We won’t soon forget our stay at Sayta. Enrique and his team have given us a welcomed sneak-peak into the world of the gaucho. Gracias! 

We are spending the next month in wine country - Bariloche, the Maipo Valley and Mendoza.  So as you can imagine, we don´t want our love affair with Argentinian wines to end.

We know we can´t just ship wine to Canada, because our wonderful country and it´s wonderful liquor control laws won´t allow it. The question is…if we ship it, what´s the worse that can happen? How much duty-taxes-penalties might we have to pay? There will be  3-4 weeks between the time we would ship it and the time we return to Canada.

One case of Malbec to the first reader to solve our dilemma…and our life-long gratitude…or gratitude for at least as long as the wine lasts. 

Thanks!

While it may seem like our trip is all fun and games (and it is, mostly), Mel has been taking private Spanish lessons (3 hours/day) for the past few weeks. Well beyond telling time and counting, she can now form entire sentences – in the present AND past tense! And her vocabulary, while still pretty basic, has moved well beyond fruits and basic introductions. Her teacher Celeste (are all Spanish teachers hot? Rosa?) has also worked hard to teach her Argentinian slang – much to the dismay of Papi. Muy copado! In the spirit of doing my homework while blogging, here’s a summary of my weekend in Spanish - sorry to all Spanish speakers, my keyboard is turned to English.  English translation to follow.

En español…

Despues de mi clase de español, mi novio y yo cenamos en Club Eros. Fuimos a la terminal de omnibus, pero el collectivo se canceló por el humo. El dia siguiente, yo caminé por Palermo y mi novio trabajó en casa. Esa noche, nosotros fuimos otra vez a la terminal. Doce horas mas tarde, llegamos a Cordoba. Brendan olvidó su carnet de conducir. Yo estuvé enojada. Nosotros dormimos en Villa Benitz - muy linda!  Caminamos por el Camino de los Artensanos. Comimos una tabla de quesos y fiambres y una botella de vino Malbec. Despues, fuimos a Juku y bebimos la cerveza casera y comimos una fondue. El domingo, fuimos a hacer parapente. El mirador es muy bonito. Caminamos por La Cumbre y yo practiqué español con los dueños de la Casa de Chocolates. Yo compré los chocolates. Requisimo! El lunes, alquilamos un taxi, pero las estancias estuvieron cerradas. Nosotros volvimos a Buenos Aires en collectivo. 

In English…

After my Spanish class, my boyfriend and I had dinner at Club Eros. We went to the bus station but our bus was cancelled because of the smoke from the burning fields. The next day, I went shopping while Brendan worked. Friday night, we once again went to the bus station. Twelve hours later, we arrived in Cordoba. Brendan forgot his driver’s license in Buenos Aires, so our road trip became a bus/taxi/walking trip. I was not pleased with him. We stayed at Villa Benitz – very beautiful! We walked along Caminos del Artisanos. . We had a cheese and meat platter and a bottle of wine at Zagreo – delicious! Later, we went to a micro-brewery and drank beer and ate fondue. On Sunday, we went paragliding. The scenery was beautiful. We walked around La Cumbre and I practiced Spanish with the people at the Chocolate House. I also bought some chocolates. Delicious! On Monday, we rented a taxi but the estancias were closed. We returned to Buenos Aires by bus.

With two years of dating behind us, and this many months of intensive dating via travelling, it was only a matter of time before we would start to become each other.  Yes, groan away, we’re going to give details. Ways in which Brendan has been Pichefied:

• Has made a habit of turning sound effects into words. For example: “We went woosh down the slide.” Sorry UCC, guess a good private school education only lasts until your Old Boys meet a girl from Espanola.
• Tends to anthropormorphize everything. Words like “it” and “that” are no longer necessary when everything is “him” and “that guy.”
• Brendan now nags Mel about cleaning, doing the laundry and doing the dishes. [Although it seems to have no effect – B] Albeit grudgingly, has also been known to clean the toilet immediately after use– in a hotel.
• Working for a living. For real. Writing, making money and having a BOSS.
• Increased stubbornness and pig-headedness are witnessed on a regular basis.

 Ways in which Mel has been Powelled:

• Hang-gliding, para-gliding, caving – need we say more?
• Eating eggs no longer considered extreme eating. Random and local foods are now a part of regular diet.
• Knows the meaning of the word “anthropomorphize.”
• Employment now considered optional. Living in a foreign country on Canadian currency starting to seem like a reasonable idea.
• 10 o’clock wake-ups – completely normal.
• Increased stubbornness and pig-headedness are witnessed on a regular basis.

 And so, if you ever wonder if Brel really exists, trust us – in scary and disturbing ways, Brel is alive and well. 

We find ourselves in La Cumbre, a posh town in the northern part of the province of Cordoba, about 800 km from Buenos Aires. Known as a groovy, artsy town, La Cumbre is world-famous for one thing – paragliding. In fact, they recently hosted the paragliding World Championships.

Still high from our hang gliding experiences in Rio, we confidently donned our paragliding gear and ran off the 330+ metre cliff. Sailing high above the ground, we saw the world (and valleys and rivers) as only the birds do.

Note to Mel’s parents: Mel is actually doing this voluntarily, I swear. I promise I am taking good care of her and will return her intact. -Brendan