Corporate America Runaway

Photo: My sister and I

As I started to count the number of countries I’ve visited for my sister’s Red Hot Holiday Party invitation, I also counted up the number of countries she traveled to with me. Surprisingly, the number came to about two-thirds of the total. Sure – I counted a country if she flew into it (Kenya), or flew out of it (S. Africa) while not really visiting it – but hey – if she supported me in some way there, even for a day – then it’s worth counting. I still have a vivid memory of her dropping me off at my first ever hostel in South Africa as she left for the airport and I started my solo adventure. I was in tears, and she probably wondered if I would ever make it this far 15 months later. It was as if I was going off to college for the first time, on my own, no family to support me any longer.

We have been through some tough travel stuff together this last year – mainly the Kilimanjaro climb (or failure depending on who’s telling the story). Finding a hotel in Dar es Salaam just hoping that we wouldn’t get mugged, carrying luggage through knee deep water in order to get to our hotel in Thailand, 8 inches of snow on a narrow mountain pass in China – but it’s all been worth it…in the name of sisterhood.

I have integrated into her everyday life in Singapore and she (nor my brother-in-law) hasn’t kicked me out yet…which is pretty amazing! One thing that constantly surprises me is that she’s my biggest fan always promoting my travels, my vagabonding decisions, and my website. I think she’s probably hoping that one day I will sell a book and I will support her…payback.

I am most proud of the fact that she’s adventurous enough to come on these trips with me – even if it is for a small portion of them. No matter how impatient or pissed off we get at each other…unlike other travel partners – she’s family, we are stuck with each other. We often joke about the fact that we could run the Amazing Race as a team. I actually think we would be pretty successful, however it wouldn’t be without fireworks and disagreements. We have the same genes…but different things certainly set us off. I’m competitive, but she’s uber competitive with others and herself. We both have our moments of bitchiness…but I’m uber bitchy if I don’t eat and sleep enough. It would make for good reality television – but alas, you have to be living in the US to apply for the show…yes, I actually looked up the application requirements. After all – I am looking for a job…reality TV star doesn’t seem that far fetched.

I spent this Thanksgiving in Singapore with her family. As we went around the table saying what we were thankful for – the theme of ‘family’ rang true for everyone. From my perspective, as I’ve traveled all over the world – the theme of family and specifically ‘extended family’ is extremely strong in most countries. Families look out for each other – they take care of one another, they live with each other. For some reason – when I was in the US, I never really felt that it was a strong theme. Sure, family is important to Americans, but it’s definitely lower on the radar – behind work, achieving, money, home, and simply acquiring stuff. So I feel lucky to have been able to experience this more global bond with family. I’m showing my nieces that even though they fight with each other and charge each other money for going in the other’s room without permission, they may actually end up enjoying spending time with their sister as they become adults. They look at me as if I have 3 heads when I tell them this, but seeing Cyndi and I travel, live and have fun together is the best life lesson for them. I often find myself daydreaming about what they will be like when they get older, and how they will interact. I plot in my head all of the stories I’m going to tell them about how when they were kids how they fought for completely insensible reasons – all wishing they could be only children at some point. I often lecture them…you are stuck with your sisters – stop fighting it.

Photo: My nieces playing in Singapore ‘snow’…basically suds!
I spent my last week in Singapore enjoying the nightlife in Clarke Quay, bonding with my nieces under a Singapore snowfall, and doing what I do best – party planning with my sister. We once again threw the annual Red Hot Holiday Party in Singapore. Word must have gotten out – as this year it was bigger, boozier, and better yet! Last year it was a welcome party for me and holiday party. Photo: Cyndi and Frank ready for the Red Hot Holiday Party! This year it was part holiday party, and part going away party for me, and once again, my sister was out promoting me all night, between jello shots, she would introduce me to people telling them of my travels. Thanks to her, I’ve made a lot of new friends in Singapore over the last year of in and out travel, it is really my 2nd home. My sister’s church priest even attended the party and was kind enough to offer me a place to stay at the friar’s and nuns quarters if my family ever kicked me out! I can safely say that I have NEVER been offered housing in a nunnery before…but it would probably make for a good story…hmmmm…

Saying that it is hard to leave my sister and family on this side of the world is an understatement – it’s gut wrenching. It’s similar to that first time in South Africa with Cyndi watching the car pull away wondering what my future holds. My sincerest thanks goes out to my sister’s family Frank, Bethany, Megan, Lindsey, and Mylen once again for taking me in, letting me sleep in the bunk bed, feeding me, making me do homework again, teaching me about family, and putting up with my inappropriate dinner conversations! It’s a good thing that sisterhood is a bond for life, else I might have been out on the street months ago!

I have immense joy in my heart around my time in Singapore, and because of that I have immense sadness that I am leaving Singapore. There are so many aspects to these emotions.

First off, there’s the obvious – it’s a great home base to travel around Asia. It has been simply wonderful for me to have a ‘home’ during this year of constant motion, a place to unpack my smelly bag, a regular bed, a fridge to open up and eat out of, a place to store my toothbrush, a place to store all of the items I’ve bought, a place to run a ‘regular’ running route, a place to basically have some semblance of routine and normal life again. I’ve also been able to make new friends such as Mylen, Mary, Brenda, and Gretchen. I’ve been able to see what life as an ex-pat is like – the ups, the downs, and I can appreciate the struggle that the families go through making a big adjustment in their lives.

Second, it has been wonderful to spend this much dedicated time with my nieces. This is quite a treat for me as I’ve always lived a 4+ hour flight away from them. I would go visit once a year on a holiday and normally had to ‘share’ my time with them with my other family members or their other family members. I would see them during Christmas, at an unusual event that was not indicative of their normal everyday life. However – this Dec through March – I’ve had them all to myself. I honestly think that I was a bit intimidated to have them all to myself in the past. It was always easier to share the time with other family members. However, now I’ve seen them at their bad times, their moody times, their bickering times, their sick times, their silly times, their wonderful times, and their vulnerable times. I’ve seen how they carry themselves every day, how they do their homework, how they interact with their friends, what their hobbies are, I’ve read books to them and with them – I’ve been a part of their everyday life. I’ve seldom spent time with kids, so this was really a unique experience for me. I’ve never been a baby person which is probably why I never had one! Sure, they are cute, cuddly, they smell good, but for some reason it never really appealed to me. I’ve always said that I like it when kids get older – old enough to have a conversation, to joke with, to teach, to go to the bathroom themselves and sleep through the night. Being with my nieces from age 13 to 7 solidified those feelings for me. I like kids. Being around them brought back so many memories of my own childhood. Seeing them fight with each other reminded me of all of the petty bickering that my brother and I used to do (however our arguments normally ended in him beating me up and me running crying to mom). I joked with the 3 girls that they would have to take care of me in my old age (ok – so maybe that wasn’t a joke), I hopefully taught them a few things that they didn’t know before – actually I think I taught them many things (maybe some things that they shouldn’t know!) I met their teachers, went on field trips, helped with school parties, went to sporting events and plays – I felt like a mom sometimes – and that was an ok feeling. I want them to succeed, I want them to be happy, but most of all I want them to experience the world and follow their hearts – hopefully I have provided a good example of that. This time with them was precious to me. I was surprised that every time I came back to Singapore and rode a cab ‘home’ from the airport – I was so excited to see them. Every time I left Singapore, I had a wave of sadness sweep over me about leaving them – this stunned me. I love those kids, and I hope that they will never forget the 4 months I ‘lived’ with them – as I know that I will never forget it. I hope that it shapes our relationship as we all get older.

Then there’s my sister.
When you grow up with a large age difference – 10 years – it’s hard to find common interests, but you are family – so you always have some sort of bond. I can’t express enough how great this time with my sister was. I hope that she enjoyed it half as much as I did. It was reminiscent of when I lived with her in small town Wisconsin, the summer of my freshman year in college. I felt like we bonded – and this time we weren’t drinking wine coolers out of a 2 liter bottle as we did back then! This closeness I feel is a strange feeling for me since my family is used to living separate lives – we are all very independent – maybe too independent. It’s suddenly strange to be dependent on one another again, but good. You realize that you have so much in common, so many shared memories, and so much history. I realized – this is what makes a family – a strong bond – I haven’t felt that bond for a while, and it was nice to have the comfort of that back in my life. I used to marvel at other people who had such strong bonds with their family – they would talk to each other weekly, see each other often, and generally be involved in each other’s lives. Now I feel that I understand it more. I have been to 12 countries in the last 7 months and Cyndi has been to 7 of them with me – joining me for a few days at a time (and I think in every country people thought that we were twins!). I hope that she has enjoyed this opportunity to travel and hang out together as much as I have.

Finally, there’s the shear gratitude that I feel towards Frank and Cyndi for letting me live in their home on and off for the last few months and become a part of their life. I ate their food, I utilized Mylen’s time and services, I shared a room with my niece, I used their bandwidth (and lots of it!), I had them shuttle me around, they helped me with my travel plans and electronics purchases, and they simply put up with me! I would marvel at how lucky I was most days – how lucky to have this opportunity. I feel like this time with all of them has changed the course of my life a bit, it has brought me closer to all of them and that will not fade.

It scares me to think about leaving my family on this side of the world – mainly because I don’t really know when I will see them again. I’m surprised that I have the same feelings as when I left NY back in September. I’m excited for what’s to come, but so sad to be leaving people I care about behind. During my stay in Singapore Frank was promoted and they found out that they will be staying on in Singapore for 3 to 5 more years. I am so happy for them – Frank works hard and he deserves it. He has more energy for work, family, and marathon training than I ever had! They have a great opportunity to live overseas and I’m thrilled that they get to continue it. At the same time though – I am sad – for selfish reasons of course. I have formed this bond, and I want to keep it – that’s hard to do when we are so far apart. It just makes me more determined to get back to Singapore again. So hopefully this isn’t ‘goodbye’, it’s just ‘so long for now’.

Sommerfeldts – thank you so much for all the joy you brought me in this journey. All my love – Sherry

Photo: Spiral Staircase at Pagoda For More pictures around Singapore - click here! I’ve spent approximately 3 months on and off in Singapore – it’s been my home base for SE Asia. I feel ... [Continue reading this entry]

aus·pi·cious (ô-spshs) adj. 1. Attended by favorable circumstances; propitious: an auspicious time to ask for a raise in salary. 2. Marked by success; prosperous 3. Term commonly used during Chinese lunar new year. For all ... [Continue reading this entry]

Warning - these pictures are not for the faint of heart! If you have any aversion to needles or piercings - then move on to my Orchid post instead. The Orchids are completely zen. A special note ... [Continue reading this entry]

I love orchids - so delicate, so colorful - yet I'll be damned if I've ever been able to keep one alive. My recent attempt was this last summer when I still had a ... [Continue reading this entry]

For Sherry's Singapore Photography - click here! For All snapshots of Singapore - click here! I landed in Singapore ready to see something familiar - my family! I was ready to empty out and ... [Continue reading this entry]