Follow Me Around the World

**ALERT** THIS ENTRY IS NOT ABOUT AWKWARD BATHROOM MOMENTS…

Today’s daily thoughts are based around elevators.  I personally don’t like them, never have, never will.  I have had a fear of elevators pretty much as long as I can remember.  Got stuck a couple times with my grandma when I was younger, and another time with my cousin Erin at the Nevele Resort when we pushed the wrong button and were “stuck” for a little while.  Anyway, my daily thoughts today do not focus on getting stuck in an elevator, but are what to in awkward elevator moments?

It’s funny when you are in the elevator and it’s just you by yourself with a few others, nobody knows each other.  Maybe you are in a doctor’s office, going down the elevator at work, or at school.  Some people look down, and stare at the carpet.  “What nice pattern and color they chose.”  Others look up and stare at themselves in the mirror.  Then you get the ones who look at their cell phone like every 3.5 seconds to see if someone called or they got a text, just to avoid eye contract and even worse verbal conversation with the others in the elevator.  But, the old faithful in avoiding awkward elevator moments is staring at the floor indicator light.  As soon as everyone is in and the buttons are pushed the heads just franticly begin to move around, up, down, side to side, everyone engages in their elevator position to avoid any awkward moments.

While those are formidable choices in hopes of avoiding awkward moments, what happens if you are going up 50 floors and it is stopping constantly?  What if it is during the lunch hours, or 5PM when the rush is going to leave?  My suggestion is switch it up, keep it fresh.  If you are finding yourself staring up at the floor indicator one day, then look down the other day.  I always enjoy noticing the pattern and color of the carpet or better yet, what type of panel was used on the walls.

So those are things that can be done to avoid awkward elevator moments.  Here are some things that you should never do:

1.  Use your cellphone.  I won’t even go into detail on this because I have already ranted in a previous entry.  If your cell phone works in the elevator and there are others in there, please wait till you get to your floor and then make your call.  Please that is the worst, it puts everyone on high alert.  It is bad enough we are stuck in the elevator with you and others, but don’t be on the phone.  No one cares, if you want to use the cell phone take the stairs.

2.  Flatulence.  This is probably an unwritten rule, but I will say it anyway.  Flatulence is not appreciated, welcomed and well should probably be banned from public elevators.  What happens if you get stuck?  G-d forbid, but if it happens, you’ll probably end up killing the other people in the elevator due to suffocation.  I think it’s safe to say that you can hold it in till you get to the lobby and your floor.  After that, let it go, let it all out, I don’t care where you do it just not in the elevator.

3.  Food.  Now this isn’t so bad since the elevator ride is probably a few minutes at the absolute longest.  Still eating food on an elevator is poor form.  We are all hungry, it’s America, we aren’t the fattest country in the world (even though Australia has a similar percentage of fattiness, we have 10+ more times the amount of people) for no reason.  Besides the current passengers of the elevator, future passengers will not appreciate smelling your bean burrito, Chinese food, or other highly potent and fragrant foods.

Those are my daily thoughts for today.  Thanks for reading.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 12th, 2006 at 1:56 pm and is filed under Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.