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Show me the money/Leaving Asia

Sunday, July 1st, 2007

Okay, okay, I know this rather long blog is called Danny in Asia, but as of today I´m no longer in Asia proper and have jumped over Russia and landed in Poland, my first time in Europe.  All the flights from Uzbekistan seem to correspond to Moscow time and leave between 2 and 7am.  Mine is at five, the worst possible time for a flight so I drink beers in the park adjacent to Tashkent airport with a homeless guy until  midnight.  As you come into the airport area there is a huge billboard sign that simply says:

GOOD LUCK!

I don´t know if this is just a bad translation from Uzbek or a lighthearted joke aimed at Ukbekistan Airway and Aeroflot´s horrible safety record.  Regardless it´s not what I wanted to see.

After I´m sufficiently loaded I attempt two hours of sleep under the flourescent lights in the waiting lobby as the security guards play backgammon.  The 2:30am check-in comes fast. 

I declare on my customs form all my money, every cent, but women inspector doesn´t believe me.

“You have 2000sum ($3.60), and ten dollars?” she asks incredulously.

“Yeah, and the $400 in traveler´s checks.”  She must know like I do how impossible it is to cash these in Uzbekistan and decides to prod me further.

“Show me your money.”  This is their trick.  They search your bags and find out that this rich westerner is lying and really has extra hundreds hidden in socks.  The offence comes with a penalty of course, usually whatever the sum over the amount stated on your declaration.

After I show her my money and she makes a brief pass through my small carry on she asks again with a look of disbelief.  “Are you sure this is all your money?”

“Yes.”

“Have nice flight.”

$40 Pigeon lunch, Uzbekistan

Sunday, July 1st, 2007

My last day in Uzbekistan squeaks by without police run-ins, but I´m not spared from a little excitement at lunch.  Jeff, an Ohioan staying at the same guesthouse as me head off to old town to find a place to eat.  We hear you can show up at lunchtime and families will offer to feed you a traditional meal for a couple bucks.  Sure enough, two guys are waiting and seconds later we´re sitting down in a quiet courtyard house under a plum tree.  The food that comes out is exceptional.  Plov (pilaf) with salted pork medallions and sausage stuffed pigeon is a welcome surprise.  I´m expecting simpler fare. 

Then the bill comes and the meal costs $40.  Realize that most meals here cost less then three dollars so this price is so absurd we just laugh in his face.  Usually these kind of strategies are used to extort half or even a quarter of the asking price, but this guy seems adamant about the $40.  I´ve only got $10 on me.  We decide that $4 each seems fair.  It was great food and this is double what you would usually pay for a meal. 

We get up, head to the door which they are starting to close, and elbow our way to the street.  Jeff offers them the 10,000sum but they won´t take it and he sets it down on the ground.  We start walking away but these rather big dudes block our way.  It finally ends with us screaming mileetsya (police) loud enough for the neighbors to take notice and the guys get embarrassed and give up. 

This is a trend I´ve seen a couple times in the ‘stans.  Some people who still have a communist outlook see foreigners as walking millionaires, so a $40 lunch is absolutely nothing to us, as if we´re totally oblivious to prices in their country or even our own.  I´ve never paid $40 for a lunch in any country. 

A taxi driver who delivered me 15km from the Almaty airport to my hotel tried to charge me $90.  I hit the hoof and was so angry I wouldn´t give him more than $15.  If he had asked for $40 or $50 like I was expecting he might have pried $20 or $30 out of me.  But when the first price is so out of line I want to give him nothing. 

If the lunch had cost $20 we´d still be a bit sticker shocked but more likely to pay half rather than the $4 he got out of us.  Capitalism is a tricky business and obviously after 16 years many folks have a lot to learn.

Chucked off the Minaret, A love story

Thursday, June 28th, 2007
Minarets are tall towers outside mosques and medresses (Islamic schools).  It's kind of an archetectural rule for these places to have them so Khiva's ancient skyline must have been much more spectacular having over 100 of these towers. In the small ... [Continue reading this entry]

Isolated yet romantic Khiva, Uzbekistan

Thursday, June 28th, 2007
Rousseau once wrote that "houses make a town, but citizens a city."  I'm reminded of these wise word when I stroll into Khiva (pronounced Hiva) today.  It's way out in the desert near Turkmenistan and about a half days journey ... [Continue reading this entry]

Into the lion’s den

Thursday, June 21st, 2007
Samarkand is the country's second largest city and despite having the most grandiose attractions they are more interspersed among the cityscape than in the more preserved old town in Bukhara. This is the land of Timurlane the cruel, a ... [Continue reading this entry]

Mansur

Thursday, June 21st, 2007
I'm lost in the alleys of Bukhara when Mansur finds me. He's a big guy of 45 and he smiles as he approaches with his huge hand outstretched. He gives me a hearty "salaam ... [Continue reading this entry]

Bukhara, Uzbekistan

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
The first stop on my tour of Uzbekistan's ancient silk road cities is Bukhara. Like most of the region it has a long (2500yo) history of hosting numerous civilizations, most of which had rulers fond of chopping off heads. ... [Continue reading this entry]

The little green men: Tashkent, Uzbekistan

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
Uzbekistan is a police state. Men in green uniforms are everywhere and in the capital Tashkent they should be avoided. For me my long hair is easy to spot; strike one. ... [Continue reading this entry]

The Rat Pack of the ‘Stans

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
Niyazov Karimov Nazerbaev
In Kyrgyzstan the economy feels stagnant. The country is fertile and green which means people aren't starving, but corruption and ... [Continue reading this entry]

Wanna buy a cheap cell phone? The taxi smugglers

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
The people in Osh are warm and inviting but the city itself left me a bit disappointed. I think it's the exotic sound of the place that sent me dreaming of a more Persian or Arabic look to the ... [Continue reading this entry]