The Buck starts here…

I had an interesting flight from Hanoi to Bangkok this afternoon. The carrier was AirAsia, a no-frills airline that spans across south-east Asia. The flight was only an hour & a half long. And after attempting to sell merchandise and warm Coke from the trolley (which must have taken all of 4 minutes), the air hostesses had precious little to do…which is why they invented the AirAsia competition!!!

Instaed of seat numbers (it was a first-come, first-served deal) our boarding passes had a “seq” number. Dont ask me what “seq” stands for. I haven’t got the foggiest…”Serious Ethical Quandry”? “Seat Ergonomically Quantified”?? “Stupid Englishman’s Questions???” The competiton was based on these numbers. I guess you could compare it to a game of Bingo. For those readers unfamilar with the game “Bingo”, a complete set of rules can be found at: http://www.us-bingo.com/bingo-rules.html For those readers unfamiliar with the campfire song “Bingo” a complete set of lyrics can be found at: http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/bingo.html For those readers unfamilar with the Pornstar “Bingo”, a complete set of pictures can be found at: http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,359346,00.jpg ……

So, the game. Instead of the traditional lots-of-balls-mixed-up-randomly-with-ugly-bloke-making-crap-puns method of picking a number, the masterminds at AirAsia had opted for the pretty-stewardess-picking-numbers-off-the-top-of-her-head-and-yes-I-do-mean-that-
metaphorically-rather-than-literally method. We sat, we waited, and some geezer in row 27 won a small AirAsia bag filled with goodies I can only dream of, probably couldn’t identify, and almost certainly dont need anyway. Then some lady in row 31, and so on & so on till all the goodie bags were gone.

Aha. But before I could put my headphones back on and let Stevie Wonder fill me with, er, Stevie..a final round was announced. An exclusive AirAsia pen had been located by the crew, and the fun was going to continue, even if the pilot’s checklist did have to be filled in with lipstick. And this time, no “seq” numbers were involved! The coveted prize would go to a passeenger based on merit! An actual “Question” would be asked….

“Where does AirAsia begin daily flights to on March 1st?”

I’ll forgive you for not immediately knowing the answer to that one. It is, in fact, Krabi. I’ll forgive you for not immediately knowing where Krabi is. It is, in fact, in Southern Thailand. This information was helpfully printed on the back of the card that explained how we would survive if the plane came down in water (yeah right), and how we would survive in the event of a herd of goats going on a kickboxing rampage against the left wing of the plane (could happen..).

My hand shot up in less time than it takes for you to have read this sentence. No, quicker than that. Quicker. Quic. Q. That fast. I was right near the front too!! They couldn’t have missed me…but they did!! In fact, they couldn’t decide on a winner and went & asked a whole other question!! A bloke in row 11 got that one. He came to the front to collect his pen. We all applauded. It should have been mine. I should be twiddling it between my fingers right now!!

Fortunately, I’ve just booked another AirAsia flight, to take me to Chiang Mai on Wednesday. I am gonna be so quick on the draw, I tell thee. That pen will be mine! [evil laughter] Wa ha ha ha ha. [End evil laughter]

The day has arrived. In a few short hours from now, I will heft my pack onto my back & wave goodbye to a school, a town, & a country that in these last 2 months has become my home. Home. It’s a strange concept. One of the first questions a new acquaintance will ask is: “Where do you live?” It’s not an easy question for me to answer. The truth is, I live wherever my head & a pillow meet. It’s an idea i’m still adjusting to: Living a life of transit.

I have found that one of the strangest aspects of this transitory lfestyle is the swiftness with which relationships with other people can begin & end. People who are my pal for a day or two and then disappear on planes & trains to places far away. I feel priviliged that our paths diverged, even if only for a pizza & a glass of beer. These brief encounters have reminded me of the importance of living for the moment. A bus could knock me down tomorrow – but today I’m happy.

And I am happy. Yesterday I recieved my teaching certificate and graduated from my training course. I now have an opportunity to do something positive & fulfilling. To really make a difference. I make no apologies for my idealistic rose-tinted view of the power of education. There is a danger of allowing life to slip into a tunnel of mundanity. Of letting apathy & disillusionment dull our senses. I am grateful for the chance that has been afforded me, and I will use it to the best of my ability.

It’s funny. I enrolled on this course without even knowing whether teaching was what I really wanted to do. The last 2 months have helped crystallise the passions of my soul. There was no Eureka! moment when I first stood up alone in front of a class. I just knew. And the experience just kept getting better & better. My last class, on Thursday, was one of the most enjoyable I have taught to date. I had asked Ji, one of my trainers, for a popular, well-known song amongst Thai kids. She started humming the theme song from Titanic. Brilliant. J’Adore Celine. My lesson was on “holiday trips”. So I took a heartfelt song about Kate & Leo and ripped it to shreds. Here are the lyrics for “My Heart Will Go On” – Bucky style

La la la, la la la la la la, la la la, la la

I went on holiday
To the U.S.Aaaaaaaayyy
It was terrifc – it was great!
I was away for 3 weeks
The best thing was New Yorrrrrk
It was terrific – it was great!

Within 2 minutes I had the whole class on their feet massacaring this tune. It was terrific, it was great! I then got the students into groups & told them to write their own world-trip themed verses to the song. One of the ones they produced included the wonderful phrase:

“I went on holiday to China….the best thing was Thailand”

And they’re not far wrong. Thailand is a great place. A warm-hearted land of smiles. A Massaman Curry of deliciousness, a Tom Yum Gung of beautiful scenery. But the time had come to move on. The world is my oyster. I could head north to the vastness of China, west to the diversity of India, or south to the koala’s of Australia. But it is the east which is calling me. Colonel Kurtz is playing in the jungle. He wants me to come and find him. The Vietnamese tourist board have an interesting slogan: Vietnam: It’s a country, not a war. I need to discover the myth beneath the legend….

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