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The squeak of death…

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

I am sitting in a park in Brighton. I am minding my own business. I am reading the newspaper. The serious bits, not the sports. I can hear rustling in the bushes. I attribute it to the scurrying of small mammals. Then I hear a loud squeak. I turn to see something rolling down the slope towards me. At first I think it may be a mouse. It is not a mouse. It is a frog. I look up to where this frog’s short roll began. A squirrel is sitting there. I poke the frog with my foot. It does not move. It’s eyes are open. But it is dead. The squirrel has killed the frog. I wasn’t even aware they were in the same food chain. But I have heard the squeak of death.
I start to walk home. A cliche happens. A dog is barking furiously at a postman. Is it the red bag that sets them off? Who can tell..

Posted in Bucky in Britain, silly things | No Comments »

Charlie…

Monday, November 28th, 2005

Charlie nearly died today.

To be honest, I thought she was dead. But then somebody resuscitated her.

Me and Charlie have been together for about 3 weeks. There have been others before her, but none have lasted this long. She’s great. I’m not ashamed to admit that I paid for her either. Maybe in the past I would have been, but not anymore. She feels sooooo good between my thighs. And when I get her hot, she makes such an incredible noise.

We go everywhere together – Me & Charlie. She comes with me to work, and to the shops. Everywhere apart from the pub that is. She doesn’t like to be around me when I’m drinking. And I guess I dont like to be around her during those times either. Outsiders might think it strange, but I’m actually a lot less susceptible to temptation when she stays at home.

She’s quite dirty. One day we were out together and she got some mud splattered on her left side. I offered to wash it off for her, but she declined. She said being filthy was ok.

She can be a bitch. Especially in the mornings. I want to go places in the mornings. I try and turn her on. At first I wasn’t sure which buttons to push. But you learn. Experience. Its all about experience, & timing, & touch.

So. Today. We were on Hai Ba Trung. Quite near the British Embassy. She coughed. We stopped so she could get some air. We tried to start moving again. We couldn’t.

I thought she was dead. I left her by the side of the road. Alone. Not coz I’m callous or nothing. But I had to get to work. Death cannot be undone.

I returned later. The person with me was able to resuscitate poor Charlie. It seemed he knew how to flick her switches better than I. Experience, apparently, is in the eye of the beholder.

But fuck her. Tomorrow I’m going to trade her in for a younger model.

Maybe a Honda Dream.

Posted in silly things, Vietnam | No Comments »

Short people with umbrellas.

Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
So... I was walking through Central London today on a quest for noodles. This story is not about my quest for noodles. I could have been on a quest for sausages, a quest for Slovakian banjo players, ... [Continue reading this entry]

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teenage mutant ninja offspring

Sunday, July 17th, 2005
Had a few people round for some drinks last night coz we're moving out in a week. Got chatting to a friend of my flatmates who I'd never met before. He was telling me about how he'd lived ... [Continue reading this entry]

Posted in Bucky in Britain, silly things | 1 Comment »

froggy

Thursday, July 7th, 2005
froggy the frog This was the 1st image I ever put on my blog. Therefore I've decided to leave it here. It has absoutely no significance. My feelings towards frogs and other amphibians are ... [Continue reading this entry]

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