Kicking it with the Kixx
Sunday, December 10th, 2006When a ticket to a sports match includes a free hotdog, you know you’re gonna have a good time. When it also includes a calendar featuring the home teams’ dancers in their lingerie, you know it will be an experience to remember…
The Camphill Soltane Soccer team were celebrating the end of our season with a Saturday night outing to see Philadelphia’s indoor soccer team, the “Kixx”, take on the mighty Chicago “Storm”
The aforementioned dancers got the proceedings off to a flying start with some smooth moves in the centre circle.
Then it was time for the match itself, and for a Brit like me who grew up on a steady diet of regular soccer, this was a whole other sport to get to grips with. Two or three points for a goal, six players to a side with rolling subs (this means continually on and off during play, rather than doing backflips onto the pitch), Two referee’s on the field, and the game divided into four 15 minute “quarters” which were split yet more by teams taking “time-outs”.
My favourite player was the Kixx forward “Boney”, seen here at the bottom centre of the picture. I couldn’t decide if he and “Fabinho” were using pseudonyms or if their parents just had active imgainations, but they were entertaining to watch regradless.
The thing that got me about the whole event though, was the extent to which the football was almost subservient to the incessant marketing, advertising, and all-round corporate lovefest. Before the game began, we were introduced over the loudspeaker to Mike, the “Man in the Stands”. I guess I always assumed that watching live professional sports in America allowed you to be free of the commericial bullshit that interrupts every time someone drops a ball when you’re watching the T.V. In fact, it’s actually worse – they dont even wait for the dude to drop the ball! Mike was promoting spa’s, chicken fillets, and aquatic tours of the Kalahari Desert, over the loudspeaker, whilst the match was actually in progress! And just in case you thought you could escape the irritating git’s voice by looking at the scoreboard, they scrolled the ads across there too simultaneously!
Here is our pal Mike, giving two lucky young boys the chance to sing a jingle for the local “friendly Nissan giant”. The crowd also got to partake in the “Kixx frisbee toss”, the “Wachovia t-shirt launch”, and hear soccer referred to as “The game, the lifestyle, the brand” repeatedly. The t-shirt launch was the only time when the majority of the crowd actually got out of their seats and showed some excitement, apart from the rare times when the scoreboard encouraged them by flashing up messages of “Go Kixx” and “I can’t hear you!” Us Soltaners managed to summon up a little more spirit though, as you can see below..
To be fair to the crowd though, they weren’t even given the opportunity to make much noise: Various songs were played on the loudspeaker for most of the match. Except some pillock from some inane focus group had determined that people only want to listen to 45 seconds of any one song. So just as you started singing along, they’d stick something else on, or good old Mike would chip in with an ad for that penguin collision insurance you never knew you needed.
Having said all that, the game itself was a lot of fun to watch, as you can see from the engrossed look on Jeffrey’s face.
It’s very fast paced, and there’s opportunity for some silky skills, including ones that involve bouncing the football against the wall. I also managed to bring my total tally of hotdogs that day up to 4. I contemplated a 5th, but decided that a slice of pizza would prevent them dogs in my stomach from feeling victimised.
So, all in all a really nice night out with the soccer crew. And i did get to meet Baba the (blurry) clown.
But I can’t believe that American sports spectators put up with all the utter shite that seems to be part and parcel of the whole event. In my opinion you should not have to have your ears (and those of your children) subjected to adverts when you’ve paid your had earned money to watch a sports match. Perhaps that’s why the place was 3/4 empty…
Chicago Storm 10 – Philadelphia Kixx 4.
The Dude