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Archive for November, 2005

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Lovesix

Wednesday, November 30th, 2005

Love can be a messy affair. But I’ve never seen it get quite as messy as it did today…

I was teaching one of my 2 classes of 6 year olds in a school on the edge of Hanoi this afternoon. The lesson was about healthy foods. I taught them how to say healthy and unhealthy, and then we went through different foods and decided whether they were healthy or unhealthy. Apples are healthy. Rice is healthy. Chocolate is unhealthy. Being definitive is great.

I noticed that one of the boys, Hoa, wasn’t really doing his work, just sprawled out with his head on the table. He usually works quite hard so I asked if he was OK, and tried to encourage him to do some colouring, but he really didn’t seem in the mood…

Trung, one of the girls, started chasing another boy around the classroom. We sent her to sit back down. A few minutes later, she started chasing him again. This time she managed to catch him, and she ripped up a piece of paper that this boy was holding, and threw it on the floor. I picked up the paper & pieced it together. Somebody had written “Trung ♥ Hoa and drawn a picture of 2 people holding hands. How sweeeeeeeeet!!

Hoa obviously didn’t think so. He proceeded to stand up, walk to the front of the class, and vomit all over the floor.

Lovesick. Lovesix.

Posted in Vietnam | 1 Comment »

Charlie…

Monday, November 28th, 2005

Charlie nearly died today.

To be honest, I thought she was dead. But then somebody resuscitated her.

Me and Charlie have been together for about 3 weeks. There have been others before her, but none have lasted this long. She’s great. I’m not ashamed to admit that I paid for her either. Maybe in the past I would have been, but not anymore. She feels sooooo good between my thighs. And when I get her hot, she makes such an incredible noise.

We go everywhere together – Me & Charlie. She comes with me to work, and to the shops. Everywhere apart from the pub that is. She doesn’t like to be around me when I’m drinking. And I guess I dont like to be around her during those times either. Outsiders might think it strange, but I’m actually a lot less susceptible to temptation when she stays at home.

She’s quite dirty. One day we were out together and she got some mud splattered on her left side. I offered to wash it off for her, but she declined. She said being filthy was ok.

She can be a bitch. Especially in the mornings. I want to go places in the mornings. I try and turn her on. At first I wasn’t sure which buttons to push. But you learn. Experience. Its all about experience, & timing, & touch.

So. Today. We were on Hai Ba Trung. Quite near the British Embassy. She coughed. We stopped so she could get some air. We tried to start moving again. We couldn’t.

I thought she was dead. I left her by the side of the road. Alone. Not coz I’m callous or nothing. But I had to get to work. Death cannot be undone.

I returned later. The person with me was able to resuscitate poor Charlie. It seemed he knew how to flick her switches better than I. Experience, apparently, is in the eye of the beholder.

But fuck her. Tomorrow I’m going to trade her in for a younger model.

Maybe a Honda Dream.

Posted in silly things, Vietnam | No Comments »

Paper tissues & Chickens

Saturday, November 26th, 2005
I have a cold. I've taken some cold pills (which rarely, if ever, have any noticeable impact). Mostly though, I just need to blow my nose rather a lot. Such is the nature of a cold. ... [Continue reading this entry]

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The (almost) Great Escape – the story of a brave fish called Fred.

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
It was dinnertime. Tummy's were a-rumbling. Concentration was a-tumbling. The lake looked a-pretty and the view was a-humbling. So my housemate Federica and I walked round it to find some grub. We came to ... [Continue reading this entry]

Posted in Vietnam | 4 Comments »

Snoopy, Snogging, & the Sheraton

Thursday, November 17th, 2005
I had a half-hour break between two evening classes at the language school I work at, so I nipped out to get some noodles. I slipped across the street to the local Bia Hoi outlet, and settled down at ... [Continue reading this entry]

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Time Travelling from the Mid-west to the Far-east..

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
Mexico City is in Mexico. Panama City is in Panama. Kansas City is in.. Missouri. And also in Kansas. A divided city. And I'm gonna get to see both halves.. Winter seems to have hit overnight ... [Continue reading this entry]

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Yo ho ho & a bottle of rum

Saturday, November 12th, 2005
I dont have a cutlass or a parrot called Polly. I drink my rum spiked with Diet Coke. The nearest I've got to having a wooden leg was holding a pencil between my toes. Yet, I am ... [Continue reading this entry]

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A day in the dark

Thursday, November 10th, 2005
The day had begun in darkness. A combination of the building site next door callously nicking all our natural, glorious sunlight; and a neigbourhood-wide power cut saw to that. So it was standing in the shadows that I ... [Continue reading this entry]

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Dancing in scooterville

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
How I love to dance. Disco & ballroom, line & square, Russian & polka. Granted, I'm crap at most of them, but the point is to have fun. Now I have found a new type of dance. ... [Continue reading this entry]

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Bigfoot hits Hobbit-town

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
I always enter into the world of shoe-shopping with the noblest of intentions. I'm not expecting to be the hippest hustler in Hanoi, but it'd be kind of nice to look o.k. Easier said than done... My sandals were ... [Continue reading this entry]

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