BootsnAll Travel Network

Ryan Adams would hate Mozambique

Hi all! Here I am in Blantyre, Malawi, on my first computer for days and days. And naturally I forgot my journal with all the juicy (well, some of the juicy) details in it. Anywho, I think I left you in Tofo, where I was hanging out for days and days at this very chilled out place called Bamboozi. A big group of people actually shuttled up from Maputo together to Tofo, and we all ended up hanging out the whole time. On the shuttle on the way up, in addition to much Portuguese pop music, the driver played some sort of mix tape starring: Bryan Adams! The whole bus was rocking out to “Summer of 69.” Boy, that’s weird, I thought.

So Tofo was filled with days spent scuba diving with Manta rays, snorkeling with whale sharks, lying on the beach and drinking. Ahh. The closest town is Inhambane, where we went for a day trip also. Went to the market, got a cute straw purse, and took a picture of the market scene, with a woman sitting in her stall: She = freaked out. Started screaming at me in Portuguese for taking the picture. Luckily I was with a native Spanish speaker, who can understand some Portuguese and just kept apologizing for me. It is going to be very, very difficult for me to show you how different it is here, readers, cause no one wants their picture taken. I have a few very cool ones that I will post tonight or tomorrow though. It is, as you can imagine, extremely poor.

So, back to Bryan Adams. A group of seven of us left the same day from Tofo for another town on the coast called Vilanculos, which was hit by a cyclone in February, but is pulling it together. On the minibus to Inhambane, who should come over the speakers but: Bryan Adams! Hmm. We all sang along, of course. Spent three nights in Vilanculos, and took a dhow trip out to this amazing island called Bazaruto. On one side of the island, a huge sand dune, on the other, and Edenic wilderness. Except for the 5-star resort, but never mind. We opted for the cheaper trip which = mistake. Our boat driver dropped anchor right on the coral reef, which kills all the coral, then on the way back in to shore we ran out of gas. The boat only had a 15-horsepower engine, anyway, but it was something. I wouldn’t have cared, but I had to buy the bus ticket for the next leg of my journey that evening, and by the time we drifted in to shore it was like 7pm. I = was pissed off. I guess I just have to adapt to Africa time, though. When we told the owners of the hostel (called Zombie Cucumber) that we had run out of gas, they were like, “Oh, that happens every time. He only brings enough for one way.”

Disaster was averted the next morning though, as I was given a seat on the bus from Vilanculos to Chimoio, Mozambique, sitting right on top of: a bag of dried fish! Lucky for me I got on the bus, cause it only goes every few days, when full. Three of us were going on to Malawi, so I have been traveling the last few days with a cool Danish couple, which has been great because all the buses in Mozambique leave at 4am, and going to the bus station alone at 4 am = not fun. And, you guessed it: back to Bryan Adams. On the fish bus from Vilanculos to Chimoio, guess who?? That’s right, people! Bryan Adams!! I think maybe he has some sort of contract with the Mozambique public transport system.

Spent one night in Chimoio, then carried on yesterday, leaving there at 4am, and arriving in Blantyre at 6:30 pm. Needless to say, a long day. Here’s what it entailed: woke up at 3am, sat on bus till around 5am, got off bus in Tete, in northern Mozambique, got on a chapa (minibus taxi) to the border, took a cab from one border to the other, then got another chapa from the border to Blantyre, then finally, a chapa to the hostel. The trip is a blast, but people don’t realize that travel like this is hard work. I’ll be here for at least one more night, taking care of big-city stuff like email, before I hit the road. I’m trying to change my plane ticket and leave Africa on July 27 instead of the 13 so I can chill a little instead of having to hurry up to Nairobi.

Oh, here’s one more good story for you, and I won’t mention where it happened, but it’s crazy. When we arrived at this town, a bunch of people harassed us to let them walk us to the hostel, and we politely declined. We got there on our own, to find the English expat owner really upset, cause I guess this kind of thing happens all the time. Anyway, she had complained to police that street kids were harassing her guests, and then when they delivered them to her door, the kids would demand to be paid commission. So the kids, in retaliation, keyed the shit out of her car, really, really badly. This had all happened the day we arrived, so she was in a tizzy. Told us first that she was going to pay the police to beat the shit out of the kid who did it, and then when talking about it more, she said, and I quote, “I hope the little fuckers have AIDS. They probably do – serves them right.” OMG, lady, I think it may be time for you to go home.

That’s my news for today people. I’ll try to post some pictures tonight from the hostel. Oh, and I ran out of hair product. Get ready for some crazy hair. And before anyone says, “yeah, but you’ll probably be able to find something really good for your hair in Africa, Becky,” I’ll just say that hair gel is low on the priority list here. More on Malawi later! xx


-48 responses to “Ryan Adams would hate Mozambique”

  1. Sharon says:

    Hint: Aloe vera gel can be used as a substitute for hair gel in a pinch. And shea butter can control the frizzies. Shea butter is from Africa, right?

    And if Bryan Adams=Mozambique, then Nicaragua=Richard Marx. Seriously, when I was there every bus driver had a richard marx song on their mix tapes, he was on every radio station and his videos were still being played on local TV stations.

    Keep having fun and be safe!


  2. Kady says:

    What about the fried white ants?

  3. KIRSTIN says:

    Chica, ditch the hair! It’s like you’re schlepping another person along! It will grow back.

  4. KIRSTIN says:

    Oh yeah, while you’re there, could you swing through Nigeria and tell those people NO ONE believes that they
    “need your services in a confidential matter regarding consignment out of a family beneficiary deposit. You will receive these funds under legal claims; all legal documents will be carefully worked out to ensure a risky free transfer. I am willing
    to pay a generous management fee as well as appreciation as soon as this transaction is financialy sponcored & completed by you.”

    So tell them to just stop it already. Wait…someone must have fallen for it or they woulkdn’t still be sending the e-mails out.

    Hmmm. See what you can find out.

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