RaveBurbleBlog

We’re now in Chiang Mai, having landed this morning after a 14 hour train ride. Just to revisit yesterday’s email, the guy in the speeding bullet tuk tuk was very unhappy with us because I had bartered his price down so much, then he found out that we were staying at an expensive hotel. That’s why he drove like a madman - a) to try and scare us (and possibly fling us out) and b) to get rid of us as fast as possible. His fast driving combined with his illegal driving manoeuvres (how in the heck do you spell that word?) had traffic police blowing their whistles at him like crazy, but he just ignored them and carried on.That combined with the railway line scenario (complete with traffic piling up behind us, beeping their horns like mad ‘cos they were now stuck on the tracks, the train barping it’s horn and the barrier bells nutting off,) made us feel like we’d just been thrown into the middle of a Jackie Chan movie. We’re still wondering if the police caught our speeding tuk tuk man on the way back and gave him a ticket.

Anyway, the train ride was pretty cool. We had a whole seat each - to ourselves. I kept waiting for people to get on and squish in beside us like they do in India and it took me a while to get my head around having the whole thing to myself. The window beside us was huge and across from us was a really nice young english couple who are travelling the world at the moment. She was lovely and the guy was really funny, so a whole lot more giggling went on throughout the ride.

We left Bangkok as the sun was setting. We went through several shanty towns made largely of corrugated iron and a few sticks and they were literally inches away from the track. It was kind of like driving through people’s living rooms, they were so close. We also drove through posh suburbs, past awesome looking temples and enormous billboards. It was raining and lots of lightening was happening, so it was a pretty cool visual send-off. Our waiter was a really funny guy and there was also a woman, who we named ‘Scary Bed Lady’ who came along and made all the beds up with frightening efficiency. Her smile had obviously been removed at birth, in direct contrast to the funny waiter guy, so we all found her a little intimidating. But the beds were comfortable and the ride was interesting. The food was the Thai version of railway food, but it kept our ribs from sticking together.

Our guesthouse in Chiang Mai is just inside the old part of the city. We’re in a budget place, surrounded by quite flash places, but we have a fan, a small bathroom and a roof over our mouths, so we’re quite happy. We also have a balcony overlooking our little street which is way cool. I got in touch with my inner idiot after we booked in and hung out on the balcony blowing bubbles. Good fun, and got a few smiles from it as well. Across the road is an artist guy who, as it turns out, is from the same family that runs our guesthouse, so we’re allowed to go and sit in his garden whenever we like. Nice place for birdwatching. He showed us around his little garden then drove off on his motorbike, leaving us - complete strangers - sitting in his garden and his shop wide open. Pretty trusting sort of area, aye what? We have a food market at the end of our street, so we have a glut of street stalls to choose from for dinner. Including some live fish swimming around in half-barrels. Yum. I think.

It might be up north here, but it’s still hot - around 35 degrees. So we’re fan-hugging and balcony sitting, waiting for the evening to come so we can go visit the night market and perhaps murder our wallets in the process. Seeya later.

Sawadee kha

Day 1. Okay, after a very long flight, several wines (maybe one too many, but I only did that to help me sleep - honest!), and approximately 4 hours after we lost all feeling in our backsides, we got to Bangkok. Cripes that’s a big airport! We really wanted to pinch one of the golf-carts the staff drive around in there, but being deported immediately would not have fitted in with our plans, so we walked and used the Jetsons-style moving footpaths instead.

It took aaaaages to get to our hotel. Every traffic light here seems to stay red for about 10 minutes. When we got to the hotel - feeling absolutely knackered, the receptionist proved my theory on the snootiness of the night reception staff being in direct proportion with the poshness of the hotel. And this one had a huge lobby lined in black marble and several floors of balconies above us. When you’re feeling that tired and it’s 5 o’clock in the morning at your place in NZ, it’s amazing how uncivilised you can suddenly feel. I began to have visions of leaping across the counter and slapping her face by the time she gave us our room cards. We tried to find out what floor room 2327 was on, but by the time she repeated it a third time and we still didn’t understand, we removed ourselves (before she slapped us) and bluffed it until we made it. (Yes, it was on the 23rd floor. But hey, we’re 2 blondes and that doesn’t make life easy you know.)

We dropped our bags and braved the lift again to sit at the pool and break open our duty-free grog (again, purely as a soporative…). The palms by the pool were pretty cool - lights wrapped around the trunks, all the way up.

We got to sleep finally, then at 4.30am we got up and had a coffee, because of course it was 9.30 am in NZ. The usual time/body clock adjustment thing kicking in.

Day 2. Off to the train station to book our tickets to Chiang Mai (up north). It’s Song Kran in a few days here - the Thai New Year. Otherwise known as the water-soaking festival. Our tuk-tuk driver was a really nice guy, but we had to do the obligatory stop at his brother’s uncle’s daughter’s cousin’s shop, which turned out to be a frighteningly expensive jewellery manufacturer’s and shop. We were taken out into the manufacturing part, which was quite interesting. We then went through the showroom, where we were shadowed to within an inch of our lives by the staff. Usual story - white equals rich. Trying to explain to them this is not the case with us - no go. Resistance is futile. Never mind, it was all glittery and shiny and it’s nice to see what the rich people wear. And we did get a free lemonade out of it.

We also went to (insert relatives names here) food place, where we dined at a decadent rate - and that’s having chosen about the cheapest meals on the menu. Gill asked about one of their fresh shrimps, which they were selling at 300 baht per 100 grams. This one weighted 200 grams. That was a $30.00NZ shrimp! Granted it was a big one (at first I took it for a peeled crayfish) but we managed to beat things down to a $15.00 meal and took vows at the same time that from here on out we will eat street food.

When the tuk-tuk’s stop at the traffic lights they turn their ignition off to wait for the lights to turn green. On the way to the food place, this guy halted on top of a railway line and stopped his motor. Gill and I looked at each other. ‘Okay, this must be a disused railway line.’ we said to each other. We then started joking about if a train came she would push me out of the tuk tuk then jump out and land on top of me, as it would be a fairly soft landing for her. After a few minutes, Gill pointed to a light approaching some distance down the track. Their really was a train coming! And we were sitting in a stationery, turned off tuk tuk right smack in the middle of the lines. But did we panic? No we did not. We started laughing. And laughing. Then we laughed so hard that tears rolled down our faces. I managed to gasp to the driver ‘you can move now’ and thankfully he started his motor and shifted so our tail was inches from where the train would pass. Then the traffic was piling up behind us honking madly because they were on the lines, the crossing bells were going off and a traffic police guy was trying to pull a barrier across the road, not very successfully.  I think our driver thought we were totally mad, laughing like we did. But it was such a mad, typical Asian scenario that we just couldn’t help ourselves. It was well worth the entertainment, and thank God we didn’t die before having our first fantastic Thai meal.

On to Khao San road - the main backpackers ‘cool place to be’, where there was a band making a racket and stalls all over the road, etc. We walked past the sign ‘fucking good beer’ on the side of a trolley that I had taken a photo of in 2005. Good to see some things stay the same. Wandered round looking accommodation to come back to when we return from up North, then finally took a tuk tuk back to Pratunam, to our hotel. The driver (different guy this time) drove faster than a speeding bullet - he was pretty unhappy because I had bartered the price down so much, then on the way he found out that we were staying at a highly expensive hotel. I’m sure when he turned into our hotel driveway, which is curved, he was trying to throw us out of the tuk tuk by utilizing it like a slingshot. However, we disappointed him by hanging on. But when we got out and walked into the lobby, we felt really alive!!! What a great first day in Thailand! We felt like we’d just lived through a real-life Jackie Chan movie. So out came the duty free grog once more - this time not for the purposes of sleeping, but to celebrate triumphantly the fact we were still alive. Take that, Bangkok! You can’t kill weeds you know.

Okay, day 3 now and we’re passing the time waiting for our train to Chiang Mai. We go well prepared - we are both equipped with water guns and plastic bags for cameras, ready for the inevitable soaking of everyone within range that apparently goes on for 3-5 days up there.

That’s us. Over and out for now.
Sawadee Kha

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