If you're one of those those starry-eyed, trusting souls (i.e: suckers) like me wondering were to pick up street smarts then Bangkok's your place. The best part is that even getting scammed here is pretty cheap, meaning you can learn valuable lessons that might cost you thousands in other big cities. We headed out in the morning with the grand plan of getting breakfast, changing some money and seeing some "stuff". After we had bought some cheap lychees, Emily declared this her favourite country yet, and phase one of the plan was complete (mwahaha). We continued walking and ran into our first "tuk tuk" (a three-wheeled two-stroke rickshaw, named after the sound of the engine) he offered us a one hour ride for only 20 baht (around 60 aussie cents) we were planning to walk and told him so, but he had a persuasive argument. It was raining (we arrived in the monsoon season) and we were walking in the wrong direction (out of the city) we couldn't fault his logic (or price) and jumped in the back happy to be taken for a ride (literally).

Our first stop was a local temple, outside were packs of mangy looking dogs, inside we met a nice man who taught us to pray (thai style) took a photo of us. We went back outside and jumped back in the tuk tuk. "Where to next?" he asked, "A bank would be good" so we found a bank and changed some money, splitting it up between us, my trustingness more than outweighed by Emily's sensible paranoia (hey who's the stoner here?). Back in the tuk tuk, we requested a brief toilet stop next, "no problem" came the reply, "I take you to my sponsor you have a quick look, no need to buy, then toilet, good for me good for you" always happy to help (and busting at the seams) we agreed. His sponsor was an Indian tailor, who was happy to see us. "Hello, come in, where do you come from?" "Australia" we foolishly replied. "Ahh I have lots of Australian customers, what are you looking for?" Trying to help our new friend I reply " A pair of pants would be good" "Excellent, one suit and three shirts I do for you at (grabbing his calculator) two hundred dollars". NOTE TO FELLOW TRAVELLERS: BEWARE ANYONE WHO CONVERTS PRICES TO YOUR LOCAL CURRENCY. "But I don't want a suit", "But this is very cheap for you, you cannot buy an off the shelf suit in your country for this price, let alone a tailored suit made of this beautiful fabric" *brings out fabric* "But I never wear suits" I reply pointing to my shorts and t-shirt "I'm a pretty casual guy" "Casual hey, no problem, I do for you, look at these magazines" *flicks through pages* He shows me pictures of guys in slacks and business shirts, looking like footballers making a court apperance. "See, very casual, now for one pair of pants and three shirts $100". I ask for a business card, "I'll think about it and call you I say" (I'm trusting but not stupid, I know when I'm being hustled) "No you order now I have them ready for you by tonight, this is good price and top quality much better than in Australia" "Look mate, I'm not debating the price or quality, it just that I don't wear slacks, we're in the second week of a year long trip and I have a heavy backpack as it is" " No problem, these are very light cotton, one pair of pants (again the calculator) $68" I take his card and leave, telling him I'll call him (why do guys always say that?). We jump back in the tuk tuk (by now Emily has her legs crossed) ask for a toilet again, this time he takes us to a souvenir shop, we walk inside look around quickly ask for the nearest toilet and leave. Relieved we climb back into the tuk tuk where he suggest we take a boat ride, "I wait for you here pick you up when done" We tell him that not neccessary pay him 40 baht and walk towards to boat tour terminal. "How much for a boat trip?" 1500 baht for you both (nearly $50), we talk it over, it's a shitty day for a boat trip and he's asking twice what it's worth, (we do actually research a little) so we say "No thanks" and walk back down the road past our friend (who's probably waiting for his commission), he tries to get us back in the tuk tuk but we've had enough by this point. We decide to walk even though we have no idea where we are and Bangkok street maps walk the thin line between confusing and dishonest. After walking into a few more shops and turning down more tuk tuk's (apparently the concept of going for a walk is quite foreign to them), we meet a helpful man called Somchai who tells us that this is not a good area for tourists and is giving us directions to food. While we are looking for a slip of paper to write on, the tailors card falls out of my packet, and what a coincidence - Somchai has a friend who is a tailor, near the place where the food is, which is near where he's headed anyway, we all jump into another tuk tuk and arrive at the tailor's (not the food as promised) and Somchai pays for the tuk tuk ride, in anticipation of his cut no doubt. The whole process starts again, only this time slightly cheaper (and this time he starts at two suits and four shirts). We manage to get out of the tailors, vow to avoid tuk tuks and start to look suspiciously at anyone who is being nice to us. We find ourselves again lost and hungry and very mindful of our mothers' advice not to talk to strangers.