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February 02, 2005

From Chiang Dao Nest 2 to Chiang Mai

Once we reached the new resort, we were begging for a shower. We immediately ran to our bungalow, shed our clothes and took a loooong shower. We scrubbed red dirt from our skin and assessed the damage to our bodies. We were sun-burned, scraped, bruised, cut from various thorns and branches, and covered in bug bites. But I never felt better. I was high from the excitement of tackling that mountain.

Once we emerged from the shower, we went out to look at Chiang Dao Nest 2. The view from this resort is a bit better than the first, in my opinion. We were surrounded by mountain views that were unobstructed by trees or bamboo. The bungalows were somewhat similar (they're all pretty much the same), but they were situated much closer to the road. We heard cars and motorbikes zooming by for most of the time we were there.

The dining area was gorgeous and faced the view of Doi Chiang Dao and the surrounding peaks. When we returned our bungalow, geckos scurried in all directions. These buggers are huge! In Austin we have some cute little pink geckos that never get larger than a few inches. In Chiang Dao, the geckos get as large as 8 inches, and they are a pale tan & light blue color. Throughout the night they would crawl around and eat up all the bugs.

We ate dinner at 8pm and met a new set of travellers. One in particular was a German guy named Joahan (pronounced: Joe-uh-han). His mannerisms, his glasses, smile, blonde hair... all of it reminded me alot of my good friend, Merrick, and I instantly took a liking to him, perhaps for that reason alone. He was a travelling artist who took annual trips to pursue watercolor painting and sculpture. When I first saw him, he was carrying the largest rolled cigarette I'd ever seen. It looked like a massive joint (another thing that reminded me of Merrick, haha). He was bragging about seeing old ladies rolling cigarettes with tobacco and shredded tamarind leaves, so he bought some for himself.

We ate dinner and made small talk with him about (of course) George Bush and the last election. I don't think Americans realize how damaged our reputation is or how bad that is for our country. Joahan talked about how much he (and many Germans) like Al Gore and John Kerry for the intelletual personalities. In his words, "they know alot about the ecology, about good policy, and speaking... how did George Bush get re-elected?" I was really at a loss for words.

Before long our mountain hike got the best of us. We retired to our bungalow early and fell asleep around 8pm.

I had scheduled a day of spa treatments as a reward for our mountain hike. Shaunna was feeling particularly weak, so she opted to hang around the dining area, soaking up the view and finishing her book. I grabbed my camera and took a hike down the road to check my email at Chiang Dao Nest 2. I finally got a chance to chat with Stuart, the English owner of the resorts. He is a really intriquing guy who clearly takes alot of pride in his resorts (rightfully so, they rock!).

I got word from my best friend, Robert, that my parrot back at home is suffering from some skin condition. I felt my heart sink. Our pets are our weakness, and it really killed me that I wasn't there to ease his pain. I tried to shake off the blues and rushed back to Chiang Dao Nest 2 in time for a fast lunch with Shaunna.

After lunch, we went to the lobby and had a manicure and pedicure at 2pm. I know the girls understand the value of a good manicure and pedicure. But, guys, you really should treat yourself and trim those talons. I had it done once before in Jamaica, and I've been sold ever since. It fel like my fingers and toes could breathe again once all the nasty cuticles were trimmed and removed.

At 4pm we met our massage therapists for a two hour Thai massage and herbal compress. I've had alot of massages in my life, but nothing like this. When I was in the Navy, I got massages in Korea and the Phillipines that started with a neck massage and ended up leading to other things. In the states, I've had terrific therapuetic massages courtesy of Misty and Brandy (the Dynamic Duo of the massage world). But the Thai technique is crazy.

First off, Shaunna and I were totally sore from our hike the day before. These ladies proceeded to knead, twist, and grip our muscles in their hands as they pushed, pulled and stretched our bodies in wierd positions. The entire time we were moaning and screaming, and the ladies laughed and chatted in Thai about our pain. After an hour or more of this, they took out some jars of white lotion that looked like rotten mayonaise. They rubbed two compounds together to create an ointment that was kinda like IcyHot without the hot, kinda like Tiger Balm without the fangs. They massaged this stuff all over our bodies. In the corner they had a portable steamer used for cooking dumplings. Inside were large mounds of herbs wrapped in white cloth. They took these steaming hot compresses and dabbed at our muscles until the pain started to ease.

After two hours, the ladies left, and we had dinner. Shaunna wasn't feeling very well and headed to the bungalow early. I stayed behind and shared a tamarind cigarette with my new friend Joahan. We talked about Germany and Texas (and Fredericksburg) until around 9pm.

When I went to the bungalow, I found Shaunna covered in bed, moaning and whimpering. She was completely sick. She was suffering from a combination of exhaustion, muscle fatigue, lactic acid overdose, and dehydration. Throughout the night she was up and down to the bathroom. I passed out and woke up to the sound of her getting sick. It was well past 10pm, and the resort was closed. She was extremely dehydrated by this point, and we were running out of water. With less than a liter of water to last the night, I refrained from drinking and nursed her as much as I could.

I felt aweful. She is a real trooper. She readily agreed to the mountain hike, and she tackled it like a champ without complaining. Back at the resort she was suffering through an amazing amount of pain. Listening to her whimper was really bringing me down, and my mind wandered. I thought about how both of my loved ones (my wife and my parrot) were in pain all because of me. Sitting in the dark, I felt like the biggest piece of shit. I looked up on the cieling and saw the geckos staring down at me like the judging eyes of a jury.

This lasted all night. When the dawn broke, I rushed to the resort office and grabbed some water. I packed both of our backpacks while Shaunna slept. Our cab was coming to pick us up at 9:30am (this morning), so I didn't have much time to get her ready for our next trip to Chiang Mai. I grabbed a light breakfast, drank a pot of green tea and ordered toast and sticky rice for Shaunna. I had her take some immodium, dramamine, and pepto. She ate the rice and toast, drank a pint of water and wearily got dressed. Just as I was finishing the last bit of packing, our cab arrived.

Shaunna quickly passed out in the back of the songthaew. The ride to Chiang Mai was bumpy and fast. Five minutes after leaving the resort I had to pee like hell. I tried to hold it, but after an hour and a half I felt like I was going to burst. By this time, Shaunna was awake and feeling somewhat better. Our cab driver stopped on the side of road and rushed over behind a billboard. I instantly knew he was taking a leak, and I stumbled out of the back in order to join him. Unfortunately, I had held it for so long that nothing was coming out. My prostate must have been the size of a watermelon because I couldn't produce a single drop.

Back in the cab I was cussing and throwing quite a fit. I'm sure Shaunna was enjoying my tantrum. I broke down and decided to try and pee into a bottle. She tried to cover me with a fleece (since you can see right into the back of these songthaews - they're trucks, you know). I could care less. Nevertheless, I still couldn't pee. Every bump on the highway was sending shocks of pain up and down my body. I started to throw things around in the back, and I was cussing like a sailor. We arrived in Chiang Mai and drove through traffic. Eventually I couldn't bear it any longer. I grabbed another water bottle, drained it on the road and took the longest piss of my life. I filled the bottle twice and dumped it in the road as we sped along through town. Five minutes later we arrived at our hotel.

Posted by coywest on February 2, 2005 03:59 PM
Category: Out and About
Comments

BRING PHOTOS OF THE HILL!

TAKE CARE OUT THERE.

Posted by: HANK THE TANK on February 2, 2005 04:09 PM

Damn, hope Shaunna's starts to feel better. This is like a tv show now, I can't wait to see what happens next!

You should get a rotten mayonaise massage on your prostate, that would fix that right up.

Posted by: Jscero on February 2, 2005 09:28 PM

i hope shaunnas feeling better as well and i wouldn't worry about funky, i'm keeping a close eye on him so don't sweat it.

i wonder what cliff hanger you're going to leave us with here in a few days?

Posted by: bobby-jo on February 2, 2005 09:50 PM

Hope you feel better Shaunna... Coy, don't wait so damn long to take a piss! I just read everything this morning from when you left up to the most current post. Sounds like quite a journey. Love you guys.

Robin

Posted by: Robin on February 2, 2005 10:36 PM

What a great read. Catching up on the last 4 entries was a great way for me and coffee to start the morning. Try not to fret about things you have no control over; pull out your copy of Tao Te Ching and spent some quiet time.

If you can, take a few pictures of the bush-hatin' pseudo-intellectual euro-trash jizz bags for me. I've never seen one outside of a university or a cramped studio/loft apartment and in the wild! ;)

Posted by: Sean on February 2, 2005 11:05 PM

What a great read. Catching up on the last 4 entries was a great way for me and coffee to start the morning. Try not to fret about things you have no control over; pull out your copy of Tao Te Ching and spent some quiet time.

If you can, take a few pictures of the bush-hatin' pseudo-intellectual euro-trash jizz bags for me. I've never seen one outside of a university or a cramped studio/loft apartment and in the wild! ;)

Posted by: Sean on February 2, 2005 11:09 PM

i love you shaunna! feel better! coy i hope your prostate feels better too :)

Posted by: wendy on February 3, 2005 12:18 AM

Oh, Shaunna! Are you feeling better now, I hope?? That kills me to think of you guys havig such a hard time. :( Coy, I'm so sorry you almost self-induced total renal failure. I'd give fifty bucks to see you trying to aim into a bottle in the back of a bumpy truck!

Take good care of each other! Be well! I love you both so much....

Btw, Funky is fine. We're doin the herekittykitty thing right now. And I took Dakota out Monday for 5 hours. It was her first time to leave Taurus. She is GREAT! She was so happy to see a familiar face; she was about to shake her little booty off once she knew it was me. We went for an hour on the greenbelt, which was very peaceful. She is such an observant creature. We waded out into the creek and chilled on a sandbar. She was really listening to the birds chirping everywhere & then turned & gave me a big fat kiss. It was sweeeet. We left there & headed back to my truck; she chilled in the backseat while I ran some errands driving around town. One more hike around Town Lake, where she met some doggy friends & treed a squirrel with a birddog named Sam. When I took her back to Taurus, I was feeling kinda guilty about leaving her & thinking "what if she gets sad?"... but man, she was excitied to be there again! And when the lady said it was dinnertime, Dakota was all about the food & had no problem saying goodbye to me. Don't yall worry about your furry & feathered children-- they're fine!! :)

Posted by: misty on February 3, 2005 12:58 AM

If it makes you feel any better, the parrot's problem was solved after it ate three of Robert's fingers.

Your prostate hasn't been the same since you stopped living with Chris Specht.

Posted by: Havok on February 3, 2005 05:12 AM

Damn. I hope Shaunna feels better! I had food poisoning in Brasil and it wasn't fun, but it's a great story to tell later on. ;P

All this traveling makes me want to go back to Brasil! Or to Mexico. ;)

Posted by: Toya on February 3, 2005 06:02 AM

I'm lovin the blog bro... hope Shaunna is feeling better!

Posted by: damon on February 3, 2005 09:09 AM

that comment about the gecko looking at you as a judge reminded me of the seen in trainspotting where Renton see's a baby's head swish around in a circle while 'long dark train' is playing.

hope you both feel better, mebbe you should take more time to rest between excursions???

Posted by: waxmatik on February 4, 2005 12:45 AM
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