Cairo and Aswan, Egypt

Saturday, May 21 to Sunday, May 22, 2005:

The "Wagon-Lit Sleeper" train from Cairo to Aswan is not too shabby at all. For $52 you get a space in a double room with spacious seats that convert into a set of double-bunks . The lighting is strong, there is a powerful adjustable airconditioning unit, and a built-in folding sink with mirror lets you take care of washing up and brushing your teeth en suite (a pair of large and reasonably well-maintained bathrooms is just down the hall). The dinner they serve is terrible, mind you, but at least its already included in the price and they bring it to (and take it away from) your cabin. With this sort of comfort, a 12-hour, 700ish mile journey can and does go by pretty quickly and pleasantly. The real luxury of travelling this way has got be the dignity you are permitted to maintain by virtue of having your own private sanctuary --- there is no vein-popping frustration brought on by the incessant terminal shrieking of red-faced babies, no homicidal rage triggered by some toothy grinning cro-magnon throwback plopping down expansively next to you and guffawing inanely on the cell phone for 6 hours on end, laughing and elbowing you in the arm the whole way. Nobody else's suitcase will fall on your head from where it was inadequated jammed in the space overhead. I liked the Wagon-Lit Sleeper. It made me feel wealthy, healthy and sane. It even ran on time. In short, it was nothing, nothing like Amtrak.

KC went to bed at about 10:00. I had the top bunk and a reading light that I used to stay up a while longer to read Graves' I Claudius, which is really a very good book. After a while I finally settled in for some sleep, surprised by the realization that I was actually going to stand a good chance of getting some. Somewhere outside our window, the Nile surged past us in darkness. There were few lights now that we had left the glimmering sprawl of greater Cairo behind us.

I woke up at about 5:30 AM, feeling the train shudder and heave to a standstill in Luxor, the first of the two main tourist stops on the route, and the one where the majority of passengers were to disembark. I planned to stop in Luxor on my way back up the Nile toward Cairo --- if I decided to go back to Cairo --- for now preferring to see Egypt's southernmost sights. By 6:30 our breakfast was served: a few stale pieces of bread with nescafe and an assortment of jams, butters, runny wedges of cheese in tin-foil wrappers with happy-looking cows on them next to Arabic text (probably reading as "moo!" or whatever noise Egyptian cows make). I tipped the attendant several pounds --- glad I had managed to save enough small bills, which always seem to dry up the moment you manage to sock away a decent-sized store of them. Small change is like gold here and some people will happily blow 50 - 60 pounds on something idiotic, simply for the sake of getting some 5s and 1s in their pocket in place of an annoyingly difficult to use 100 pound note. For bakhsheesh, you definitely need a big supply of 1s and then the even smaller bills (a 25 piaster note is worth one fourth of a pound --- a quarter pounder --- or about 4 cents).

We reached Aswan at 8 AM, right on time --- Tout Time, of course. Emerging from the doors of the train into the blazing sun, the dry heat clung onto us nearly as quickly as one of the numerous hostel-pitch boys who was waiting intently outside. "Yes, hello my friend, hostel? Good place! Good place! This way! Where you from my friend?.."

And so on, all while following after us and ignoring our shakes of the head and umpteen "no thank you"s.

Lets take a break for a minute. I've written it before and I'll write it again: "Hello my friend" is the last line I ever want to hear again in this lifetime ("Did you hear that Tom Cruise is marrying Katie Holmes" is now ranking a strong second). If I could send a memo out to the hustlers, touts, cons, scabs, scum, derilects, deadbeats, screwballs, half-wits, bilkers, cheats, schemers, scammers, flim-flammers, sharks, sharps, frauds, hosers, posers and punks of the world --- a little educational FYI piece for their general edification and self-improvement, perhaps printed on neatly-folded flier papers and handed off to them individually on a case by case basis as soon as the offending line is delivered --- it might go a little something like this:

"Piss off."

But really, maybe it would be a bit more like this semi-deranged (but justified!) rant right here:

"Dear Esteemed Mr./Ms. Hustler, Tout, Con, Scab, Scum, Derilect, Deadbeat, Screwball, Half-wit, Bilker, Cheat, Schemer, Scammer, Flim-flammer, Shark, Sharp, Fraud, Hoser, Poser, Punk and/or Other (please specify type here __________):

Anyway, I sincerely hope this brief memo has raised your awareness and understanding. Now piss off."

Ok rant over. Back to the dodgy 25ish guy following us out of the train station and, by this point, 50 feet south down the dirt and donkey-dropping lined street: I didn't tell him to piss off. That would have been fun but a bit too rude and, of course, I know that the guy is just trying to make a living. But after a while I got irritated. You can ask me once or twice, but not six times.

"You're wasting your time. You have NO chance at all," I told him.

"Ok, ok, ok," he said in an offended tone. "All I try to do is help."

Right. He shuffled off with a wounded, indignant look --- wholly manufactured.

We continued to wander south down one of the main roads, which was lined with shops and tents and stahls selling all kinds of tourist knick-knacks, along with your regular everyday goods. Dogs rolled around in the dust and children played in the depressions on the sides of street corners. Most of the men wore white or gray robes and almost all of the women were in head-to-toe black, despite the increasing heat and blaring sun. Faces here were worn by the sun --- and many of them were black, this now being the Nubian region of Egypt. Following the map I had, we passed through a maze of narrow market streets, trying our best to avoid the stray tout trying to lead us off to "his" hotel (fat chance its really his, he just wants a commission which will be added to your bill).

After 20 minutes and a lot of sweating (we're hauling around backpacks, after all) we reached the Keylani Hotel. About 50 pounds ($9) each got us two clean rooms with private bathroom and some seriously powerful air-conditioning. Exhausted, we each turned in for a few hours of sleep. At noon we met up and headed down the street to the stretch of restaurants and barges (and barge-restaurants) that lined the East side of the Nile river. We settled on the Full Moon, a barge --- a floating platform, really --- decorated with colorful woven blankets and pillows, looking out toward the Nile with its many ferries and felucca boats threading back and forth across the surface. A few hundred feet across the water was small Elephantine Island, the site of two tradional Nubian villages. Further away, the West bank of the Nile was visible, a series of desert dunes and rock cliffs with domed huts on top. We ordered a small meal and waited an hour for the food, 30 minutes for the bill and another 30 minutes for our change.

Walking down the same Nile-side street, we met a man who offered us a decent price for a ride over to Elephantine Island. For about $1 we had a leisurely 20 minute ride to the small port at the first of the two Nubian villages. Probably the only two tourists on the island, we spent the next hour wandering through narrow streets past small blue and yellow houses, cages filled with livestock, and more children playing in the road. There weren't any cars and it was very quiet. A few people greeted us with a quiet "salaam" [peace] as we passed, wondering if they could help us with anything. After a while, the heat became too intense and we ducked into a cafe on the river overlooking Aswan. Finally, KC asked a group of veiled women where the ferry back across was and they helpfully pointed out the way.

After a short break we went to Aswan's small but excellent Nubian Museum, which traces the history of the people while also featuring relics of ancient Egypt. The main chamber features an enormous statue of Ramses II, in great detail. Numerous statues, carvings, and pieces of jewelry are on display as well.

Back at the Keylani Hotel we confirmed our interest in a trip down to Abu Simbel the next day. This required us to be up before 3 AM in order to head 3 hours south by military convoy (the only way tourists are permitted to head there by land). Because of this, I went to sleep at about 9, the air-conditioner just managing to drown out most of the call to prayer blaring from the speakers of the nextdoor mosque.