Before I start this entry I want to begin a new policy with this blog. As some readers are sharing this blog with children (btw I think that's way cool) some things discussed in these pages are probably not appropriate for kids but best discussed and read on an adult-to-adult basis. I will place a warning at the top of any blog entry that I feel may not be appropriate for children. Of course each adult will use their disgression as to whether or not the entry is appropriate for their children. My goal is to keep this blog family-friendly but I will add spicier or more adult content at times when a good story is available.

That being said, THIS BLOG ENTRY MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN.

This entry is about toilets.

Not restroom, little boys room, little girls room, mens room, ladies room, potty, crapper, but toilets. In Asia and probably elsewhere in the world, if you ask anyone where something is using any of these names they'll just give you that blank look of not understanding because a toilet is a toilet. Very straight forward and understood almost universally.

Why am I writing about toilets? For a couple of reasons.
(1) It's an easy laugh - toilet humor never really seems to get old but maybe that's just my juvenile sense of humor
(2) It's an easy blog entry, kinda like the newspaper columnist writing an easy column in order to make a deadline
(3) Asian toilets are a big topic amongst travelers here because each toilet is seems so different from the other. Is it a squater? Is it a semi-squater? Is it clean? Any toilet paper or just water? How do users of squaters without toilet paper not walk around with wet stains on their butts? (okay I've never heard that question from others but readers of previous blog entries will remember that I wondered that). Toilets and their peculiarities are a source of speculation, conversation and angst.
(4) We all use a toilet at least once or twice a day (after a meal I had last week I had to use a toilet much more often than that for a few days but that's another story)

I'm going to quote liberally from a Lonely Planet guidebook for the following toilet discussion.

In many Asian countries the squater is the norm except for hotels and guesthouses that are geared towards tourists and international travelers. Instead of a modern, western toilet we are all familar and comfortable with the squater tends to sit flush with the surface of the floor with two footpads on either side of the toilet. Although some I've seen are about 12-18" off the ground - not sure why.

I won't go into the male and female perspectives of the squater because each of you can use your own imagination. Suffice it to say that it's better to be a guy than a woman when using toilets in Asia (at least half the time).

If you've never used a squater it takes some getting used to. An interesting fact I read (and a good one to keep in mind when you're cursing this method) is that people who use squaters are much less likely to develop hemmorroids than people who use sit down toilets. I don't know who studies these things, maybe the good folks at Preparation H???

Next to a typical squater (and many western toilets) is a bucket or cement reservoir filled with water. A bucket usually floats in the water. This water has 2 functions. First, toilet-goers scoop water from the bucket (with their left hand) and use it to clean their, uh, private parts after they are done and while still squating over the toilet. In many toilets (both squater and western) I've seen there is a spray gun like you see on some sinks for this use rather than using the bucket. This is similar to European toilets and can give you quite a jolt (sometimes pleasant) when the water pressure is too high or it is too cold. The second use of the water is to pour a couple of scoops (or more depending...) in order to flush the toilet. Their are no mechanical flushers.

In some rural areas the toilet consists of a few planks over a hole in the ground - no foot pads!

In many places where there are western toilets the plumbing may not be designed to take toilet paper. This is the case with all squaters too (except the ones that are just holes in the ground). In such cases there is generally a waste basket where you are supposed to place used toilet paper. It doesn't take much imagination to see that this is a less than pleasant sight when sitting or squating over a toilet!

Here is a repost of a few pictures previously posted on this blog as they are the only toilet pictures I've taken.

Suffice it to say that people in Asia do not linger long in toilets and they certainly do not bring anything in there to read!

I'm not obsessed with toilets, really I'm not. I only wrote this to amuse and educate and I do not make it a practice to take pictures of toilets. How many times did I write toilet in this blog entry anyway?

Thank you for reading this. I hope to make this blog both interesting and entertaining. Please post a comment and let me know your thoughts, observations or counsel. Hearing from readers and knowing I have an audience is a great motivator and will be a great morale booster during down times on the road. Don’t forget to bookmark this site and tell a friend! Please feel free to e-mail me at “JeffMichie at Yahoo Dot Com”