I must start this story in Phonsavan, where we were sitting around talking after dinner when I heard a rustling of dishes coming from the kitchen. I turned to Amie and said “there must be chickens in the kitchen.” Shortly afterwards, we heard rustling in the walls and then Amie saw a large rat scurry along one of the rafters. Later that night we fell asleep to the sound of scurrying feet on the roof of our bungalow. We actually stayed there another night but decided against eating at the restaurant even though our dinner had been delicious the night before.

The reason I mention the above is that we were heading to Muang Ngoi Neua, a place I had heard was stunningly beautiful but plagued with a rat problem. I have no problems with bugs or little creatures providing they are not in my bed or banana box (work joke). We had heard that the bungalows in Muang Ngoi Neua were a little rustic so we did not relish the thought of adding creatures to the mix. We are supposedly flashpackers after all.

After 3 hours in the back of a sawngthaew (pickup truck with benches in the back) from Luang Prabang and then a 1.5 hour boat trip on which we had to get out and hike around the rapids for 1 km, we arrived in Muang Ngoi Neua. We decided that Amie would run up the hill from the dock to snag a nice bungalow while I waited for the bags to be unloaded. That ended up being a good idea since she got the last room in the best guesthouse on the island. The bungalows had been completely redone and had only been officially opened the day before.

The town itself was pretty small but had a very nice setting and the scenery reminded me of Vang Vieng. There was a lot of drinking and partying going on amongst the locals and there were a large number of very drunk men staggering around town. I tried to rent a kayak for the next day but the guy was so drunk I just gave up.

That night, to keep the rats out of the room, I was forced to put my sweets outside and even had a nightmare that the rats were eating them, only to be awakened by all this scratching on the roof and in the walls. We had a fitful sleep with Amie worried about the rats and me worried about my sweets, which to my relief were fine the next morning.

The next day we sat next to a woman from Cork at breakfast and got to talking and ended up spending the day together. We had heard that there was a nice walk to a village and some caves to explore along the way, so we set out for them. The cave was great; the entrance was hard to find but it stretched on for some distance (further than I was willing to go). We then continued on the path to the village, crossing two rivers to get there.

When we got to the village, we heard loud music so we decided to investigate. It turned out there was a wedding going on and when they saw us they invited us to join in the celebration. It appears that at a Laotian wedding you dance around in a circle and after each rotation you drink a shot of lao lao (home brewed whisky). Maybe dancing is not quite the right term since the only parts people really move are their feet. I was forced to do a few rotations with a bunch of women, one of whom tried to impress me by telling me she had a boat. She might have offered to take me for a spin in it but I’m not quite sure since there was a bit of a language barrier. The lao lao was pretty strong and after 3 shots I made a run for it back to my wife, who was doubled over in laughter and, I guess, not threatened by all the other women since she and the Cork woman were being chatted up by an older man who was forcing lao lao on them. We made our escape to the only restaurant in the village and had a few warm, non-alcoholic beverages to get rid of the taste of the lao lao. That night we slept a little better even though we still heard a few creatures, but we were pretty sure they were outside of the room.

We woke early the next morning because our neighbors felt that if they were awake everyone else should be as well, so we arranged to take the early boat back to town and see if we could get to Luang Nam Tha that day. The only early boat turned out to be a speedboat, a boat we normally try to avoid since they are so loud and travel so fast that they require you to wear a crash helmet. The boat journey was fun but very cramped. It was exciting to be hitting the rapids and have the boat bounce off the bed of the river. After one set of particularly rough rapids, I felt some water coming into the boat – or at least I hoped it was water, I looked over at Amie just to make sure but she was fine, if just a little rigid. That was a ride I would normally pay $20 just for the thrill of it, but in Laos it’s all part of the journey and only $2.

When we got to the bus station we still had to sit around and wait for the slow boat from Muang Ngoi Neua to come in and then we had 4 very uncomfortable hours in the back of a sawngthaew. We changed buses in Udomxai and to our delight, traveled the rest of the way in a comfortable minivan, although along very uncomfortable unpaved roads. We arrived in Luang Nam Tha at 7:30 pm and just took the closest hotel to the bus station. That place had the most uncomfortable bed I’ve ever slept in, but for $3 a night, including attached bathroom, who can complain?

The next day was just a rest day and after a relaxed breakfast where in the course of 30 minutes we were offered opium 3 times by the local hilltribe women we lazed around reading on our “balcony” before going for a massage where I paid this 15 year old kid money to beat the crap out of me. It was the worst massage I’ve had so far and I was wondering the whole time if the kid knew what he was doing. Amie was quite happy with hers since she had the master working on her. The only reason I went for a massage was to spend the last of my kip because I thought we would be in Thailand the next day. Boy was I wrong.